TOXIC- english translation

I'LL STAND BY YOU

Draco held my diary in his hand; his eyes on mine, not knowing what to say. My heart was starting to beat wildly ..

I was breathing hard ..

I opened my mouth to breathe better. My hands and legs were shaking, as if all my joints were getting blocked.

I think I was having a real panic attack.

- "Draco what did you read ?!" I yelled at him.
He didn't answer, he looked down. - "Tell me what the fuck you read, tell me!" I punched him in the chest.
He still didn't answer, but judging by his face, I knew perfectly well what he had just read.

I gave him a shove to move him and got out of the bathroom.
- "Draco get out of this room right now."
-"Helena.."
- "I told you to get out of this room now!" I yelled. I was out of control, completely out of control.
- "Helena .. sorry, I did not imagine all this .." He walked towards me, took my arm and pulled me to him, trying to give me a hug, but I continued and push him away.
-"Do not touch me!"

I sat on the bed, bringing my knees to my chest, holding my head with my hands, trying to breathe and calm down ..

But I couldn't believe it... I couldn't think that Draco, Tom's friend, knew everything. I felt so stupid for letting him into my privacy ..
In my life..

Draco took my wrist to try to speak, but I wanted to be alone, completely alone. - "Who the fuck gave you the right to read my private stuff? What did you want to look for in those pages ?!"
- "I don't know .. sorry, I reacted instinctively .."
-"Leave me alone!"
- "Ok .. you are angry with me.
I'm sorry for reading it ..
But now I fucking know! Let out with me .. "
-" Let out with you ?! "I got up and went face to face with him:" Do you want me to vent? Well!
Considering your "calm" I suppose you have not read all the pages addressed to you and all the hatred I have felt over the years, because I am sure that if you had read them, you would have left this room. Do you know why I drank so much that night?
Because you, along with your friend Pansy, had the brilliant idea of ​​inventing that I had slept with a teacher, telling the whole school during the party, and everyone believed it and called me a slut!
Everything has a consequence! The fault is yours too Draco!
So now don't be "sorry" ok ?! As before you did not have the right to say shit about me, now you did not have the right to read my private things! "
-" Do you want to calm down ?! "Draco squeezed my wrists.
- "I-told-you-do-not-touch me!"

He let me go and I walked to the window, watching the rain dripping.
From the reflection I could see him, behind me, looking down.

I took a deep breath and turned to him.
- "How are you going to deal with it now?
Do we pretend nothing has happened?
Now you go back to your dorm with Tom next to you and tell yourself how many Quidditch games you won? "
- "What can I do? Tell me!" approached me.
-"Nothing!
A few days ago you said to me "I monitored you every fucking year to see who came into your room" and where were you that night Draco ?! Remember that words have weight!
And what can you do? You can not do anything!
Nobody can do anything!
But do you know whose fault it is? It's mine! Why Draco? Why am I here with you now? With all the harm you have done to me .Why did I take pleasure in seeing you jealous of me yesterday when I kissed Tom?
Fuck, he wasn't just anyone!
It was Tom!
After what he did to me!
I'm a fucking psycho!
I'm the one who gets into trouble, I'm the one who decides to hurt myself!
The truth is this!
And kidding with fire, sooner or later I'll get burned! "
Suddenly I thought about the note I had received ..

Draco took my hands and pulled me to him, hugging me.
I tried to move, continuing to punch him in the chest but he held me tight. I burst out ..
I started to cry ..
After a long time..
My legs felt soft .. I collapsed on the ground, sitting down and he with me.
He hadn't stopped hugging me and feeling me sobbing, with his big hand he touched my hair, squeezing the nape of my neck, bringing it to his chest and I don't know why, I calmed down.

- "Draco .. I have to tell you something .."
-"Tell me.."
- "He knows, he knows that you and I were together."
- "How does he know?" Draco stopped hugging me and looked at me worried.
- "A few nights ago he came to talk to me .. I know I lied to you, but yes, he came to me."
- "What happened with him Helena?" I saw Draco worried.
- "He read my mind, and saw everything .."
- "Did he read your mind? How can someone from our same year know how to read minds ?!"
- "Tom .. you should know him well, you know he is very powerful."

For a moment there was silence in that room.

- "So .. when he kissed you yesterday, he knew about us right?"
- "Yes Draco .."
- "I can't believe it .." he got up, walking up and down the room, he was so nervous.
- "Helena .. I don't know what's between us .. I just know that with you I feel vulnerable ..
I came here this morning, wanting you to scream for that fucking kiss and then I found myself in your shower.
I found myself in your bed and my possessive side revealed itself again wanting to read your diary ..
Did I regret doing it? I'll tell you the truth, no ..
You would never have had the courage to tell me such a thing and I know how dangerous Tom can be ..
I know I'm the last person you should believe in but ... you can trust me now. I'll stand by you."
- "Draco .. I'm also vulnerable with you and as much as I have pent-up anger towards you, I can't stay away from you.
What is happening to me? What's happening to us? "
He smiled rolling his eyes and I smiled at him too.

I know I should have been angry with him,he was wrong, for the umpteenth time but I also felt relieved ..
I could no longer hold that huge weight alone.

- "How will you behave with Tom now?" - "I don't know how it will end up but .. I'll talk to him, he knew the truth between us, tearing it away without consent, for the second time."

I looked down, obviously I knew he was referring to my virginity, now lost .. He gave me a kiss on the forehead and walked towards the door.

- "It's time to go .. ah and if you like write about what we did a little while ago in your shower, it would be interesting to read it later." he smiled at me, looking at me from head to toe. - "Fuck Draco." I returned the smile.

He opened the door and left.

What would have happened between Tom and Draco? Would Tom finally leave me alone? What am I saying?
Tom will never leave me alone ..
___________________________________________
What will happen between Tom and Draco?
What will Tom have to say to Draco?
Let me know what you think of the chapter in the comments✨
I will publish the new chapters in the following days:

•Monday.

•On Wednesday.

•Friday.