Gerard hated loud noises, crowded places, flashing lights and the stench of alcohol; which is why it made perfect sense for him to live above a bar. Well, the rent was the reason he lived above the dingy bar- not the charming atmosphere created by the forty drunk strangers either sweating or slobbering on each other to the sound of the newest destine-to-fail punk band.
And as Gerard shoved his way downstairs and into the back room, desperately on the search for the boiler keys, the cheap rent rates were no longer sweetening the deal.
"Bert! Where the fuck do you keep those things?" Gerard shouted, throwing his head back with a groan as he felt the leaking beer keg soak through his evening slippers. God, he was an old man trapped inside an adults body sometimes. With his now dripping and cold slippers matching his dripping and wet hair, he prayed to whatever landlord god there was that Bert would rot in hell for the amount of icy showers he was forced to face.
"Coming, babe!" Bert shouted back, kicking the door open as he peered over the obnoxiously oversized cardboard boxes he was lobbing in. "What is it again? I heard you say something about a 'taking cold shower' but I don't want to know when you're touching yourse-"
"No! Fuck- No, the hot water stopped again and I can't find the fuckin' boiler room keys. God, you really think I would tell you I'm jacking off?" Gerard whined, helping Bert lower the boxes to the cleanest part of the filthy storage room floor as he was getting tired of feeling the weirdly sticky beer trying to glue his shoes to the floor every few seconds. "Seriously, I need you to find those keys because if I don't get that water fixed tonight I think I'll start handing out free beers when you're not looking."
Bert gasped in fake horror and clutched his chest, rolling his eyes but still smiling as he gently moved Gerard out of the way, shuffling past him and reaching up to the top liquor shelf and pulling out a small key. "Here, honey. Stop complaining- I'll tell you what, for an extra hundred on your rent this month I'll get it fixed."
"A hundred? What the fu-"
"Fifty, that's the lowest I'm going."
"Bert, I am not paying extra for you to be a good landlord!" Gerard huffed, snatching the key out of his friend's hand and begrudgingly pushing the crate of bottles out of the way not to damage them- he didn't want another charge on his rent this month or even stickier shoes. "I'll fuckin, I don't know..." He muttered, unlocking and pushing open the door to the boiler "One of the guys out in the bar must know how to fix this, I'll just get the one who's most sober..."
"Gee, I hate to break it to you but we're thirty minutes away from closing time and the only people out there are either too drunk to stand or there's the guitarist from tonight's show. And no disrespect to him but I don't think he would know what a boiler even looks like."
"Fine! Fine, whatever- I'll wait until Monday comes around but you're getting it fixed for free." Gerard groaned, knowing three days without a shower was just the norm for him but it still wasn't nice to not have heat in late October. Especially with the cracks in the window frame...
"God, just for you." Bert said sarcastically, trying to hide a small smile from the annoyance of his friend who was definitely going to shout at him if he laughed. "Look, fine. I know I'm a shitty landlord and I'm glad you're my friend because you won't sue me-"
"Get to the point."
"So I'll let you have free drinks tonight, warm yourself up with those." Bert finished, wrapping his arms around Gerard's shoulders from behind as the man let out a sigh and leaned back into his arms.
"You're very lucky I'm your friend, and that I'm a lightweight or I'd drink you dry." Gerard chuckled, finally starting to relax with the security of the promise- Bert didn't give out drinks for free unless he was really sorry. "I want a vodka and coke and some peanuts, please, and fast."
