I'm leaving!

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by musical_fart

by musical_fart

As you open your eyes blurrily, a realisation struck you.

Last night, You had come home drunk and had witnessed Ed cheating on you with Shrek, but since you were drunk, you didn't think much of it. Everything was coming back now. Not only had you seen Shrek, Sonic was a part of the foursome, as well as Cinderella.

Heartbreak hits you while you shed salty tears of pain. How could Ed cheat on you?! You had been married for so long, how could he have betray you like this??

"Hello darling~!" Ed sings, entering through the golden sheen oak doors, holding a tray of food.

"Don't 'darling' me," You glare at him. "Today, I am NOT in love with the shape of you."

"Why not, honey bun?" He askes, cocking his head.

"I saw you." You say, glaring at him, all emo depressed. "I saw you having a foursome with Shrek, Cinderella and Sonic."

"Wha- Ahaha, that's craAaAaaaaAAAzy!" He says, looking nervous. "Where did you get that from?"

"I saw you."

"But you where dru-" He starts, "I mean, what do you mean?"

"I saw you, you were really getting into it!" You scream indigently, "I even saw Shrek getting out the condoms!"

"I- uh- Y/n... I'm sorry.."

"No! Shut Up!"

"It was all a mistake, I swear!"

"I'm leaving!"

"NO! Please! I love you!"

So then you walked out the doors like a boss. Years later, you lived life alone, seeing as Y/n is a boss and slays in life. And for Ed?

Well Ed started having terrible voice cracks and he was fired, seeing as not even autotune could fix his cat like screeches he called singing.

13th July 2021

Made spaghetti with cheap tomato sauce and it tastes so good omg