Dysphoria

Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

As he walked toward the bar, I noticed dark circles under his eyes that weren’t there last night. His eyes were red and his hair was a mess. He looked exhausted, stressed, and heartbroken. 

“Hi,” he muttered as he sat down.

“Hi,” I said. “How are you feeling?” 

“As bad as I look,” he scoffed, raising an eyebrow. “Can I just have a beer?”

“Of course,” I forced a smile before grabbing an ice cold beer for him. 

As soon as I slid it onto the counter he took a swig. He sat, looking down at his lap quietly. I would’ve moved along to the next customer to give him some space, but unfortunately the bar was empty. 

It was just me, Ryan, and Ashton. Three people in the whole bar and yet, I felt like the walls were closing in on us. Finally, Ashton spoke up.

“I spent the day packing my things. I’m moving out,” he informed me.

“Where do you plan on going?” I asked. 

“A hotel until I find a permanent place. There’s an open apartment in the building across the street, but I think that’s a little too close for comfort,” he shrugged. “I don’t know how we’re going to tell Mallory.”

“Who’s Mallory?” I asked. I hoped I didn’t sound too nosy.

“Our daughter. She’s very young, she probably won’t understand it, but it’ll be tough on her I imagine.” He took a deep breath and took another sip of his beer. “This isn’t how I pictured my life. This is all one big disaster. All I wanted was a happy family with a wife who I would love endlessly, and now all I’m left with is a cheating wife and a daughter who will be growing up in a broken home.”

“I’m so sorry Ashton. I’m sure Mallory will understand with time,” I assured him. 

The bell on the door interrupted our conversation, when a group of girls in skimpy outfits walked in. 

“I got this,” Ryan said, jumping up as soon as the girls approached the bar. I could hear him already working his charm on them.

“I just wanted to give her a better life than I had…” he sighed, turning my attention from Ryan and the girls back to him.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“You sure are nosy,” he said after raising his eyebrows. “Another beer?”

I quickly turned around to grab him another beer, but took my time with it to hide the fact that I was blushing. I didn’t mean to be nosy, but he was so intriguing. Not to mention he was practically begging for me to ask with all the open-ended statements. I decided I’d stop asking questions, whatever he wanted to tell me he would tell me, I mean, he obviously wanted to talk about it if he was sitting here talking to me.

“My dad left when I was younger, leaving my mother and I to take care of my baby brother. I mean what kind of man just leaves his wife with a six year old and an infant?” he rambled on as I handed him the beer.

As the night went on, the bar got busier, but not busy enough where I couldn’t continue my conversation with Ashton. I did have to excuse myself from the conversation a few times to help Ryan out when a crowd came through, but Ashton was very patient with me. However, as it got later and the amount of beers he had consumed got higher, he couldn’t keep his mouth shut.

I had learned tons of things about his childhood, including his mother teaching him to respect women and treat them with respect to ensure he would never do to another what his father had done to her, also how he had to grow up pretty quickly with helping her raise his younger brother and how he had to get a job at a young age to help with the bills. Along with that he had to give up soccer because not only could they no longer afford the lessons, but he had no time between school, work, and babysitting his brother, who happened to be named Matty.

Ashton stared at me for a long while without saying a word.

“What?” I asked as I grew self-conscious.

“I’m just going to have to forget about her. You know the one thing my mom never taught me was how she learned to cope with the heartache. Ironic, right? She was so worried about me repeating history that she never thought that it could happen to me.” He looked around the room, stopping when his eyes met those of one of the girls who came in a few moments after he.

They were both highly intoxicated, and it only took him a few quick strides to get to where she was seated with her friends. I watched as he worked his charm on her. Within a few minutes, their fingers were intertwined, him leading her out of the bar.

I knew this wasn't the right choice for him, he knew it too, but that did’t seem to stop him from cheating on his cheating wife, nor did it stop the heavy feeling in my chest.