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viii. writer's block

Writer's block.

The worst thing that can happen to any writer who stays alive by throwing up all that creativity stuck in them on a blank piece of paper. The worst thing that can happen to anyone who makes a living from the art of writing, whether it's poetry, music, or storytelling. And that's the exact same thing that is happening to a certain green-eyed singer.

Lauren is a very talented human being. Not only does she have an astonishing voice and a raw ability with instruments, but she also has a remarkable ability with songwriting, arguably her greatest talent. Songwriting has always come naturally to her. Almost effortlessly. But for the last week, it's as if all her inspiration and talent for writing are long gone. And the worst part is that Lauren knows the reason for this block in her mind. She knows why, or rather who she can't write for.

So now she's sitting in the middle of the recording studio, a pencil in one hand while using the other to support her head. Between her legs, resting on the floor, a notebook that has been empty for hours, with only small drawings and scribbles on the sides.

"Maybe you should take the weekend off."

Lauren lets out a soft chuckle looking up at Marcos. "And why would I do that?"

Marcos laughs taking a sit on the floor next to the singer, before grabbing the notebook and putting it up in the air. "This is everything you've written in four days, Laur."

"Whatever," she mumbles taking back the empty notebook. Lauren makes a couple more scribbles in the notebook when she feels her phone buzz twice, only to find on the screen the name of the person who has taken away her ability to write.

Camila [6:31 PM]: Can't today

Camila [6:31 PM]: Sorry 🥴

And as you can imagine, Lauren's writer's block has a first and last name: Camila Cabello. Since the last time Camila stopped by the studio to record the song, things have been moving in their almost non-existence friendship, if you can even call it that. They went very quickly from texting every day to cold messages from the Latina, and an impersonal invitation to her party that the singer doesn't even know to attend.

So now the singer feels conflicted. Conflicted because she feels more hurt by Camila's sudden coldness than by the breakup with her girlfriend of two years. Conflicted because she feels so many things for the young Latina that she knows she shouldn't feel. Conflicted cause she has so much to write but no the courage to do so, because that would make her feelings real. And she doesn't want her feelings to be real, cause deep down she knows damn well she's probably not a reason enough for Camila to betrayed her friend. And this last message from the Latina proves just that.

Lauren looks at the messages for a couple of seconds before writing a quick text back.

Lauren [6:32 PM]: No worries

"Fine," she sighs as she stands up. "But I'll be back tomorrow. I really need be done with this fucking album."

"You know you can't force creativity out of you, Laur. Plus we have no rush to finish it. The label hasn't even set a deadline for the album."

"I know. It's just so fucking frustrating that I can't write shit," Lauren says as she shoves her stuff into her bag, Marcos gaze never leaving her.