Paranoia

7. All I Want

Life is weird. When you stop, the world continues to run around you. Time will never stand still and the seconds will always continue to tick on. Life also brings challenges, little obstacles that stand in our way of having a smooth, comfortable, seemingly normal existence. Although, for Giselle, she always felt that for some reason she was never allowed to show her struggles, allowed to express her discomfort, her pain, or her desire to be a simple person. She had had too many people witness one of her greatest struggles in life and from that moment she did not hesitate to shove those feelings as deep down in her soul as she could, to make sure she was not treated like a freak or an outcast anymore. 

It took the longest time for Giselle to display herself as a happy, bright, bubbly girl to her pairs around her. For a long time, her happiness was Yoongi. She found enough happiness in her friends and accompanied by the love she had given and received from Yoongi, she was the brightest light in everyone's world. However, it became hard the day Yoongi announced to his friends that his family would be moving. His father had a new job prospect in a foreign country, one he couldn't say no to. His family had discussed the prospect of only his father leaving and returning monthly, but this idea would be costly and difficult for the family to maintain, resulting in the decision that the family as a whole would move. This broke Giselle's heart. She had finally felt some sort of peace, his comforting presence was something she had thought would never leave her. 

After he left, she continued to present herself as the same bright bubbly girl, most were fooled, believing that she wasn't too affected by the sudden absence of Yoongi in her life, but her friends and brother knew this was an act, they could see that her happiness didn't reach her eyes. There was always a slightly glossy look settled at the back of her eyes.

Her life seemed to get better when he was sent to prison. Her pain and suffering were finally heard by all. They finally believed her. Yoongi was able to convince people that she wasn't insane, that she was speaking the truth, but he was gone and she wasn't able to celebrate her fresh start in life with him. 

She continued to live her life, her fake bubbly persona never faltering in the public eye. Almost everyone in her school, and even people from other schools, wanted to be her friend. She was nice to everyone, even those who tried to knock her down eventually gave up as she never gave them the satisfaction of shedding any tears, only showing a calming understanding that they themselves must be hurt in some way to want to hurt another. This is when she met Namjoon.

To the outside eye, Namjoon seemed like the perfect person for her. He was kind, handsome, intelligent, popular, and seemed to pay careful to every detail about Giselle. They were smitten, everyone in school knew about the new potential couple, no one once mentioning Giselle's past relationship with Yoongi. Most believed that Namjoon was her other half, seemingly having so much in common. The two became a couple after a long courting period, Giselle being nervous to start something big at such a young age, and also afraid to try something new with someone that wasn't around when she was at her worst. But she never told anyone this, not even Namjoon. Everyone just assumed she was playing hard to get, something that everyone thought about her in general. She always seemed too innocent and untouchable, she still does. 

She got comfortable in the relationship, Namjoon had gained a significant amount of trust from Giselle, something that only her friends, brother, and cousins had. Although, none of the mentioned liked Namjoon that much, always having suspicions that the boy was hiding something. Regardless they kept quiet about it for Giselle's sake as she seemed to be letting go and they were starting to see the sparkle in her eyes again. Unbeknownst to them though, this sparkle was mainly due to the fact Namjoon had helped her rediscover her love for dance and music, something she had taken a break from when Yoongi had left as she felt like she would break down into uncontrollable tears if she were to catch even just a small glimpse of a piano.