Broken is Beautiful-Sterek

6

Stiles POV:

When I wake up, it feels too voluntary; sleep lulls me, yet I have the aching urge to search for something... or more like someone. That tone, the soft melody, sounded like a symphony in my mind, but I can't remember what they said, just the feeling of wanting; wanting to stay awake, wanting to be held a little longer, wanting to stay frozen in time where for once everything felt right. But I can't; I never can; as I start to take in my surroundings I realise, I feel soft sheets, not dirt, the gentle smell of greenery with warmth instead of the harsh chill of the crisp forest floor. My eyes bolt open, and I don't know where I am. I don't know where I am. Still too exhausted from my previous panic attack, I just started feeling more tired rather than another one set in, but once I begin to breathe a bit faster than before, the door opens, and there he is.

His sped pace contradicting his delicately silent footsteps, Derek rushes in by my side within a moment. The impulse to grab him, to be consumed by a bear hug almost takes over, almost but not quite. Resisting the urge offering nothing but a soft smile that I can't contain any longer, I don't know nor understand why but I feel safe. How can he do this to me, I haven't felt safe in years and I'm not about to start, safe means letting your guard down and that would make me vulnerable, that's not something I'll allow myself to be I won't I can't. Being vulnerable isn't something I could do, not anymore at least; I long to feel the weight lifted off of my shoulders, to rely on others but if I do then my life as I know it would be non-existent.

The thoughts running through my head had me pause for a split moment and before I could process what was happening Derek had crouched down and engulfed me in a bear hug. My chest felt heavy, an involuntary deep inward sigh consumes me, I wrap my arms around him and begin to stroke his back never realising how touch starved I was before this very moment. Time seemed to slow as my eyes closed all I could hear was our hearts beating in sync and our breaths surrounding the room but all I could feel is the welcoming warmth of the bed and his body submerging my usually cold skin. I don't think I've ever felt this type of soft warm welcoming embrace since before my parents died, ever since nothing has really felt right; that is until now.

Before I know it sleep has already taken me again; this time I can tell I'll feel well-rested when I next wake and it's been so long since I've felt that way.