Broken is Beautiful-Sterek

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TRIGGER WARNING HERE AND NOW THIS WHOLE BOOK IS FULL OF TRIGGERS PLEASE STOP NOW IF YOU CAN'T HANDEL IT

Stiles POV

I glance over to my old cracked phone sighing it's already 1 am, I've been laying in bed for 3 hours now trying to sleep. I look over to the bed to my left finding Kit asleep whilst on my right Alex was dozing off the phone in hand.

At night I can't stop thinking, my mind races with itself trying to think about nothing but my ADD refuses to let me sleep yet again. I need to remember to call my doctors and ask for sleeping pills or something. It's at night my mind races more than normal, nothing around but still cold darkness and silence, that's where it all thrives all of my deepest thoughts.

I close my eyes as tight as possible but I can't help but think about it. The night is when it all comes flooding back, all of the memories, every touch, smell, feeling, I have a HORRIBLE memory but this stuff, this is the kind of stuff I wish I could forget but it sticks with me now and for the rest of my life. I try to think on the bright side but I-I remember EVERYTHING! The stuff they did replays in my mind and muscle memory kicks in remember it all no matter how much I try to block it out I can't help but break down, my body freezes up as I let out a small shakey breathe and tears brim in my eyes. Then the flashbacks start their reruns...

*Flash Back*

I'm sitting on the sofa trying to have a nap because Kit complains when I sleep in our room saying that I make it smell, like WhAt!? how I shower and put on more deodorant that she does! So here I am trying to have a nap and get rid of my headache. Right now everyone's out shopping but Joe and Cameron, we're pretty close I feel like they're my brothers and I can trust them with almost anything, we pull pranks on everyone and always get into trouble but I make excuses being the genius that I am I manage to get out of trouble most of the time unlike them although since that our carer is their mother she doesn't go too hard with their punishments.

As I'm drifting off I hear someone come into the room, I lazily open my eyes to find Cameron walking towards me before closing my eyes again and muttering a small 'hi, head hurts'. That's when Cameron decided he'd join me and plopped himself behind me laying down, I was fine with it until he put his hands on my hips holding me in place. I try to wiggle off of the sofa asking what he's doing but his tough hands hold me in place before whispering in my ear "Ssshhh YOU'RE going to like ThIs" before I could ask what he starts forcing himself against me, I try to get off of the sofa but he then holds me even tighter and lays all his weight on me forcing mine in place. I try to scream to make any noise but nothing would come out but small broken hollow breaths, so I fought, I fought as much as I could before I felt too exhausted to continue then he pushed me down to the point Ino air could enter my lungs and my headache had turned into a mirage so powerful I felt like I was going to throw up. 

He continued to rub himself against me and I couldn't do anything, my body froze my mind went blank, I couldn't do ANYTHING! After what felt like eternity tears started to spill but I couldn't even some because no matter how hard I tried all I managed to get out were small words so broken my voice cracked more that I thought it could, with words barely even a whisper all I could repeat was "sTOp...n-n..nO-o...Ple-ase sTOP-p....g-get OFF mE-E...let mE lEAvE P-PLEaSE LET ME GO...PLEASE ST-o-o..op..pl-ease...n...no" but no matter how hard I tried to scream and break free my body was too shocked to do anything, I laid pinned against the sofas he continued to hurt me.

Cameron was the one I was closest to in the apartment but now I don't know, now everything feels like a betrayal. The women I've grown to call 'mum' now pulls up and you can hear the key going into the door with few voices following behind, that's when he stops, that's when he pulled my fallen blanket over both of us and pretended to sleep as my mum enters the room followed by everyone else bringing in bags of food. Upon seeing us she awwed and as I tried to get up Cameron pulled me back down, but I kept fighting as much as I could until mum asked what was happening and I couldn't describe it, at the time I didn't know the word for it Iw as only 6 I didn't know what was happening all I knew is it was WRONG and I felt SICK, I could still feel what he had done to me even after it stopped. My lack of voice made it impossible to speak as my shock hadn't washed away so Cameron decides he would speak up.