Cs get baked beans

I'm a Donald Downer

"Mr Mickle Dickle?!" Warren spat the juice of his two minute noodles out of his mouth, we were at my place and I'd just unloaded to Warren about my discovery of Mr Mickle Dickle.

"Trust me, I was just as shocked."

"The seed thing I get, that fella's as nutty as bag of chipmunks, but pushing you against a wall and grabbing you by the collar, Dexter was smoking at the back of class and all he said was 'none of that you naughty niggles' and then Dexter was like; 'Its weed sir' and he was like 'at least it's made by mother nature.'"

"Was that the guy with the mohawk?" I asked.

"Dexter, yeah. He's a silly muffin."

Silly Muffin?

"More like a fresh prick with a foul ear." I answered.

"He's had a tough life. His mum didn't give him as much bickles as the other kids and his daddy's not around."

Warren was so nice. As idiotic as he was and the amount of people who knew it. He never called anyone anything worse than a "silly muffin." Suddenly I felt disgusted at myself, I was the living embodiment of a Debbie Downer or whatever the male equivalent of that was (Donald Downer? Poopy Pete?). Warren was strawberries and cream, and I was greek yogurt and prunes. My life wasn't even that bad, Bark, Warren and Dexter (although he wasn't a wave of smiles and positivity) had it far worse than me. What was wrong with me?

I shoved those thoughts away like clutter in my room. If I were a good catholic, I'd have a lot to bring to a confession.

"So what should we do about Mickle Dickle?" I asked.

Warren's mouth erupted into a smile. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"This isn't bloody bananas in pyjamas, Warren. I haven't a clue what you're thinking."

"Mickle Dickle made the seeds right?"

"No, he got a good deal at Oderings." I snapped then felt myself be mentally kicked. I was meant to be a ray of sunshine not a sack of sarcasm.

"Meaning he probably knows a way to reverse the effects."

"Well, as if he's gonna just tell us. Hey Mr Mickle Dickle, you tried to kill me yesterday, but that's all good, water under the bridge. I was wondering if I could have a cure from the effects of the seeds you're so secretive about."

"No butterbrain. We gotta break into his office or something."

I snorted; "He hid the seed in the walls of the staff toilet. He's too smart to leave it lying around in his office. He'd put it in a more secure place."

"Why do you think he'd hide it in the walls of the staff toilet? Don't you think his home would be a more secure place than a public school? The only reason he'd hid them in the staff toilets is if he was hiding from someone at home. Mrs Mickle Dickle perhaps. And even if it's not there, we're sure to find something that'll get us closer. If we're lucky he hasn't logged out of his computer. You never know it could be a double bluff, you'd think the office was too obvious" Warren said with a wink.

"Ya know Warren, I think there's a bit of that child prodigy still in ya." I said with a smile.

The comment made Warren beam. He patted me on the back and said "You and I are gonna be like Nancy and Ned."

"Ew, that's such a girly comparison. Can we be Sherlock and Watson?"

"Sure thing, boss." Warren said with a winning smile. I don't remember the last time I'd felt this excited.