❝I think you're my favorite person.❞
- - -
Since childhood, Lila's had her mind set on what she wants. And now in her senior year, that's getting into West Michigan State University. But her overbearing...
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WHEN MOM COMES home, I'm still thinking about Chase Rhodes. Sadly.
I wonder if I was too harsh on him. I mean, I still wouldn't accept—no matter the circumstances. Getting involved with Chase is the last thing I need right now.
My mind is focused on one thing and one thing only: finishing this impossible essay.
It has to be. I can't afford anything else. No matter what, I have to keep my fixation on it.
I can't get distracted now. Especially when I'm so close to getting what I've worked on since forever.
"Hey, honey," mom greets, and I smile at her in return. She sets her bag down on the counter and just when I think she'll leave me alone for tonight, her eyes catch sight of my laptop screen and she sighs.
I don't look up, I already know what I'll see. Disappointment, worry, irritation—the works.
I'm used to it all by now, having seen it all. And not just from her, from Dad too. Although at least Dad makes an effort to hide it.
"You're still working on that, Lila?" She asks, a distasteful notch to her voice. I slowly glance up at her.
"I can't just not do my college essay, Mom," I remind her for what feels like the millionth time. She shakes her head quickly.
"No, I know, but do you ever take a break?" she says, brushing my cheek with her hand. I turn my face away from her hand like it's scalding.
"I don't know, Mom, why don't you ask my stack of homework that question and get back to me," I grit out, fully aware that her shoulders have dropped.
"I'm sorry, Lila, it's just—" she sighs. "You know I worry. I don't want you wasting your teenage years because you're scared you won't make it into one college."
I clench my jaw. I guess we're doing this.
I remember the first time Mom, Dad, and I had this same conversation. It always started with the fact that I was throwing away my childhood and jumping too far into adulthood. And it always ended with a slammed door, a hurt heart, and a disappointed remark.
It was always my heart that hurt afterward. I wished and wished that my parents could see my plan through my perspective. See that I wasn't wasting my childhood just because I wanted my future to be assured.
But they never did. They were convinced I was growing up too fast too quick. I guess things never change.
"I'm not wasting my teenage years. I will have plenty of time do other things when I've graduated," that's the plan anyway. It always has been. Focus on school, then get distracted.
"And how long will that be, honey?" she raises a brow, challenging me. "You've been focusing on your education for so long I don't think I've ever even seen you go on a date!"
