The Rise of Venus

Flora's Test

Song: Slow Dancing in the Dark (inst) by Joji

When Leo says, "I love you," he doesn't alway say so with those particular words. And, I supposed, that's why I adored his love so much. 

I heard his love in the way he said hello. Whispering words of good morning underneath thin sheets and overwashed blankets. I saw it when he brought me my cup of tea perfectly made every single time without fail. I felt it in the way his nimble fingers drew shapes that only we knew of upon my rich melanin skin. I tasted it on the air of domestic intimacy that lingered between the two of us whenever we were together. Hell, Blue Eyes alone said more than a thousand words ever could.

People often thought that for love to be "true" it had to be loud. Me, myself, and I used to be one of those foolish people. Loving Leo, however, taught me that the opposite was more likely to be true. Love, true love, was to be found in the silence.

Leo told me he loved me long before he ever spoke those words aloud. And, perhaps, maybe that's why I never once thought to doubt him and his love for me.

Leo, my Mate, showed me what love was long before I ever truly knew what it could be. Quiet, attentive, and supporting. Love was calling your partner out when they screwed up. It was being there for them when they couldn't stand on their own. Love was holding your partner accountable for their actions. Accepting their flaws because you knew they weren't perfect.

Love was...

Love was me being able to pick out Leo's neat handwriting and messy sketches anywhere. Love was me being able to smell him from a mile away thanks to his favorite body wash that clung to him like a second skin. Love was knowing that the way he walked, talked, and breathed was embedded into all that I was now.

Leo was my world.

Everything that was home was him. 

I loved him.

I was in love with him.

It was for that exact reason why my heart couldn't bear the thought of giving him up. It pained me too much to imagine a life without him in the future. I'd only just gotten to experience his love. How could it ever be fair to ask me to give all of that up? In what world was me giving up the love of my life for the greater good fair to me?

For the first time in my life, I understood what it meant to have purely selfish desires. I didn't dare speak it aloud, but I knew that in my heart, I couldn't sacrifice Leo. Even if it meant that his death would end this war. Even if it meant that thousands of lives would be saved by doing so, I couldn't do it.

I'd sooner walk through fire, slaughter every Dark Witch and Warlock on this earth, before I'd just let him die.

It was selfish. I knew that. But, for some odd reason, I couldn't find it within me to care. It seemed that not even the second star's claim could overpower my own desires to ensure the safety of my Mate.

Selfish.

Tears lined my closed eyes but I refused to let them fall. I couldn't cry now. Not when the future was so unclear and my heart was at risk of breaking right in half. Tears wouldn't change the outcome of tonight. Nor would it help me figure out a way to cheat destiny.

Tears, crying, and pity held no place of importance right now. Strength and strategy. Now that's what I needed to rely on.

When I opened my eyes and saw the world through a watery film, I scoffed at the unfairness of all that was life. Even beauty seemed offensive to my darkening mood.

Streaks of straw gold dashed across the picturesque sky. A pretty painting of pinks and purples dusted the horizon. Bidding the warring world below farewell, Solis took the day star away from the ending day. Soon, the moon would show her face encased in a silver halo of glittery brilliance.