metanoia |N.H|

chapter one.

I'm not okayyyyyy

Eccedentesiast

Eccedentesiast, what a pain of a name.

At times even I mispronounce it.

Everyone calls me Ecce.

Years ago, i auditioned for the x-factor. It got me loads of fame. I was able to build off that game and start an acting career.

I tam sick and tired of hearing of one direction. I am always connected to them, because i auditioned the same day as them. I made it four rounds and then became ill. I had to have surgery to fix my vocal chords. I had been overworking them for months.

I was disqualified, and was heartbroken. Because of my disqualification, one direction made it very close to the finale.

I hate one direction.

It just so happens the director of my next film will be directing theirs. He wants us to have a huge dinner to celebrate our upcoming films. He said he might even ask them to appear in mine.

I have so much hatred for t hi s director already, it's a deep pain.

I try to like everyone i'm working with, but he's making it so hard.

The dinner tomorrow is fancy. Fancier then i'm used to. I go to my premiers of course, but they're rock stars. They cannot go out without being recognized at every turn.

We needed to go to a restaurant where they'd ensure nobody would come up to them.

Could they simply have closed down a restaurant? Course. But they had to go the extra mile, like always.

I remember how obnoxious they were, even as teenagers. They must be insufferable as adults.

Niall was the worst. He was so loud up until i would walk into a room. He would give me dirty looks whenever i was around. He hated me.

I didn't do anything to him, i introduced myself to him and he straight up walked away! what an ass!

I was a nervous fifteen year old, he made everything worse. Him always being such an ass to me led to a panic attack. That panic attack led to the severing of a vocal chord.

I could have had my dream come true, but he fucked it up. Instead my mother forced me into acting, i enjoy it. But not nearly as much as i did singing.

I love my job, I do. But I wish i could change the past.

I wish i hadn't let Niall in my head.

I wish i didn't have the panic attack.

I wish i could say no.

I wish i didn't have mommy and daddy issues

I wish i didn't accept crappy situations.

And i wish i was someone else.

Maybe i've had to much to drink. This is getting too dark.

hey guys! sorpresaaaaaa

thank baleigh and martha for this </3

they encouraged me to write this first chapter. be prepared to see more of niall and ecce.

you'll see why her name is what it is later on.

i hope you enjoyed!!!!

don't forget to leave feedback and vote!

-Brittney</3