sunday without sun : ̗̀➛ kuroken

ch three

TW: mention of rape

kenma did not remember the last time he wanted to drink as bad as that one sunday evening, when he was sitting with his friends during their weekly stream. everyone had phones in their hands, reading the chat when camera was in front of them.

they all just agreed that they are going to avoid questions about kenma, unless he answers them himself, even though nobody said anything like that - there was no need to, because it was right thing for them to do, naturally.

kenma, even though he was the one getting the most attention from viewers, was the only one that hasn't even peeked at the chat since the stream started. he hasn't said anything else than his vocal tics caused him to say too, just playing with his hair that was freely laying on his shoulders, unusually not tied up.

his phone was vibrating in his hands because of messages he was recieving. in the morning fumuhiro asked him to come over, but he hasn't replied anything - he just didn't knew how to respond that he doesn't want to see his boyfriend.

fumuhiro was problematic since the very beginnings. loosing all his problems in alcohol, raising his voice up at kenma for trying to get him out of his addiction (even though he didn't knew how to help himself) and not understanding the word 'no' when it came to physical touch - but kozume really wanted to change the boy, no matter how much of his own problems he had. because, at some time, he actually loved his boyfriend. they were spending much time in the park, looking at the birds, they were having cafe dates and when they were on a walk, everytime they changed the direction fumuhiro was picking up a flower, just to give kenma a bouquet made of them when they were splitting to their homes.

all of this, until fumuhiro started to hit him, shouting angrily about how exhausted of kenma he is and making him start to drink again too.

that was the moment where kenma gave up on changing his boyfriend, instead drinking with him whenever he had occasion to, and getting raped every time he lost his consciousness, because in that case he wasn't able to stand up for himself, or at least just get out of his house.

he didn't knew why they still were together, when both of them just said that they don't love each other anymore. why fumuhiro still invited him, and why he let him kiss his neck whenever the other wanted to and why he let the whole internet go crazy over how cute they are together.

none of the times when he threw up in the toilet until he couldn't catch his breath, while fumuhiro was taking something more than alcohol in the living room were cute.

he also didn't knew why he stood up after reading his messages and went to his room to get ready. he just felt the need to drink so bad.

fumu
please reply
heeeeey
hello kenma
listen terushima is here today with friends and he has something good prepared for us
please come
i see that you're not having fun with friends on the stream
babee
listen bitch i don't want to be the only one without my pair, just come

fumu
missed call (4)

it felt unreal for him when he was putting on his tracksuits. why is he going here?

his tongue felt like it was tying when he told his friends that he needs to go to his boyfriend. disappointed look on kuroo's face is something that made him want to puke. he adjusted his hoodie and put on some converses, flinching a bit as he saw kuroo standing here when he looked up.

,,do you want me to drive you?'' he asked, leaning on the wall as he looked with grief at kenma.

,,nooooo!'' he shouted unwillingly, whistling right after. ,,sorry. no need to'' his head turned to the side.

as he was about to leave, he heard tetsurou's voice again.

,,hey'' he started, scratching his arm a bit. ,,please, think about us and call in need'' he said, looking into his eyes.

kenma wanted to break down. he wanted to scream till his lungs feel like burning, he wanted to cry his eyes out and rip his hair, he felt like every bone in his body is breaking. but all he did was just nodding his head in response and getting out of the house.

warm, summer air was making his head fuzzy. he didn't like that hot weather much, but he usually wasn't complaining about it either. he made his way to nearby bus station, trying to calm his breathing down, because he knew that he was going to regret going there. he stood here, squinting his eyes to see how much time was left to his bus and looked around, just to see two teenage girls covering up their mouths and looking at him. he immediately turned around, hearing his friends saying something on live that was playing on one of the girls phone. he never liked causing attention, so he left his breath out when he saw his bus approaching him while the girls stood up to come up to him.

the drive was calm, just like every other drive he had. the real fuss happened in his mind when he was standing in front of the door to fumuhiro's house. he left a breath out. he still had a chance to turn around.

his knuckles met the wood of door and soon he saw one of his boyfriend's friends. he didn't remember his name, but he remembered his curly hair drooping on the side of his face. he welcomed him and made his way to the living room where the rest was sitting, his boyfriend standing up as soon as he saw him to kiss him.

,,so you showed up'' he said, not letting kenma to answer as he gave him another kiss, boys in the back whistling, which caused the blonde to unwillingly do the same. he was picking up his tics very easily.

,,he's so funny with it'' smiled terushima, whistling again and watching kenma doing the same few times after him.

,,please do-'' he whistled ,,don't do this'' his hand hit his waist.

,,damn, i'm just joking around'' he laughed it off and turned back to the table.

fumuhiro sat down, making kozume sit on his lap. kenma was extremly tired, so he just rested his head on fumuhiro's shoulder and looked around. the only people he remembered were terushima and lia, who were sitting next to each other, doing something on the table. the two other people were two boys, one of them was the one who opened the door to him and he could say that he knew the other one from somewhere.

he hasn't looked at the table until fumuhiro leaned into it's side a bit. lia was preparing another dash of cocaine as terushima was closing the small bag. kenma tensed up.

,,you made it just in time. you look sleepy as hell, why don't you start?'' said fumuhiro, petting his boyfriend's arm.

kozume looked at him confused. ,,i thought we're o- o- onlyyy drinking today'' his fingers snapped together.

,,i think i'm passing today. i have a meet up tomorrow'' one of the boys laughed a bit, combing his light hair with his hand.

then it clicked to kenma. semi eita, boy from the band that he knew just because of how much kuroo was listening to their music. guess all the famous people have to go through it.

it wasn't kenma's first time with cocaine. he did drugs before, but it usually was some shit mixed up with soda or any other sort of chemicalia that was kicking him for short amount of time. but he knew terushima, and knew what his stuff was.

,,come on kenma, at least you don't be a pussy'' the other boy kicked semis's leg. ,,don't be ashamed, we have a lot of this shit with us today''

kenma sat up a bit and clucked his lips unwillingly.

,,do it for me so you can relax a bit'' fumuhiro whispered to his ear and kissed his neck.

so kenma did, to show how much that boy was still meaning to him, and it was another thing he was going to regret.

A/N
hii!
thank you sooo much for all the views and your apperance in here. it means soo much to me <3

i'll check this chapter later

i hope every one of you is doing great
x