sunday without sun : ̗̀➛ kuroken

ch eleven

[what happened?]

kuroo felt a rash of adrenaline getting no response from the boy. he quickly apologized to bokuto, made sure that they're going to meet up soon again and left. he didn't want to rush over nothing, but something in the back of his head made him push the gas pedal further.

parking in their driveway never made him more anxious, even after they got into a fight over a new furniture in their living room and didn't talk to each other for three days. even then he was calmer than now, twisting the door handle and getting inside the house.

,,i'm here!" he screamed in the hallway, taking off his shoes ,,where are you?" he asked, waiting for any answer from kenma as he looked for him in the hallway. he made his way upstairs and opened the door to kozume's room. he felt his legs getting weak as he saw him, laying unconscious on his bed. he had his face in the pillow, laying on his stomach and arms crossed up above his head. kuroo quickly approached him, worry taking over him as he started to shake blonde's arm.

,,oh my god, kenma, what did you do?" he asked, panicked, and jumped up a little bit seeing boy's head turn over to him, groaning.

,,the fuck you mean" he took a deep breath and rubbed his eye, frowning as he looked up at tetsuro.

the ravenette let out a breath, siting down on the bed next to kozume, who now turned to his back and was laying with his arms covering his eyes.

,,you didn't have to- to rush!" blondie peeked at him.

kuroo's heart felt heavier. he felt silly for immidiately assuming that kenma had done something to himself. poor boy just fell asleep.

,,i didn't, actually" he lied ,, just tell me what's up"

,,i told you my- mmmmm" he ticced ,,mom. contacted me, right?" blonde mumbled, making the other take a quick look over him and nodded. ,,she wants to- to do- to! do a photoshoot and i- uhhh- i just want it all" he took a breath, a few tears falling down right after. ,,i want it all to end" he unwillingly hit the bed with his fist.

tetsuro shook his head, frowning. he watched tears go down on kenma's cheeks. ,,what do you mean?"

before kozume said anything, he sobbed uncontrolably. kuroo sighed with worry, watching kenma sit up.

,,sorry" he cried ,,i don't know what to do" he unwillingly shook his head ,,i hate! her. i don't know" he hiccuped as a tic ,,what to do with fumuhiro. i miss him"

the last pharse was almost a whisper, but made tetsuro's heart heavy as if kenma just screamed at him.

ravenette pat his arm. he knew it wasn't easy for his bestfriend, he shouldn't be focusing on himself now. yet, his thoughts kept coming back to their kiss and wondered if it even meant anything for the other.

,,it's okay" he said, even though it shattered him apart. ,,do you want to meet up with him to solve it all? or do you want to like, expose him publicly?"

kenma shook his head, looking down.

,,i don't" he whistled ,,don't want anything with him" he cried, hands shaking. ,,i don't know what" he breathed weirdly ,,to do without him though" he sobbed ,,im nothing without him" he hit his head. ,,i'm so sca-a-ared"

kuroo knew there was no time to pity himself. kozume was deeply hurt by his boyfriend - all these years of getting compared to shit and treated like a ragdoll made him feel like he has no own value. he didn't feel like ,,kenma" anymore - now, he was just ,,fumuhiro's boyfriend" that allowed everyone to stomp on himself and depended on other's choices. it felt like his life was lived by other people.

tetsuro pulled him into an embrace. he petted his head, letting the boy let go of his emotions. it was all so complicated. fumuhiro was a manipulator and convinced not only other people that it was all kenma's fault, but also kenma himself. he knew he was getting treated badly, he knew there were so many people who really cared about him.

he knew about kuroo's crush on him.

and yet, he made himself stay by fumuhiro's side, depending on him and being there for his every call. he brought him unexplained comfort, by abusing him, the way he was treated almost his whole life.

he endured all the bad treatment from his boyfriend for years. he needed the feeling of belonging to someone so bad that he was willing to apologize to fumuhiro if it all only didn't get so spreaded into the internet. but now, it was too late. and his own, safe bubble that he made around him over these years was breaking.

it felt horrible.

but, in kuroo's arms, he found a piece of comfort that was taken away from him. tetsuro's touch felt like a glue to his broken soul, and he wanted to experience it all over again.

unfortunately though, he was like a kite, swirling around in a storm, held on a string by his past.

kozume held his friend's shirt tightly, melting into his arms. he wanted to think that this is what he deserves, that kuroo isn't pitying him. he was so tired of feeling like a burden.

,,kenma" kuroo started, his heart beating faster ,,please, just let me take care of you. we can get over it. just fuck this all, kenma. stay with me"

blonde pulled away, looking into tetsuro's shiny eyes. he sobbed, getting his head taken into ravenette's hands, and nodded his head, grabbing kuroo's arm tightly.

he expected a laugh, an expression of winning something, he saw these in fumuhiro before, as he had asked him the same things before. acting as he won a prize by making kenma stay.

but instead, he got the most heartwarming smile he could ever recieve. a support he needed.

kuroo stroked kozume's cheek carefully, swiping away the tears, and placed a sweet kiss on his nose. ,,it's going to get better. i promise"

and because of that, kenma felt like there's still hope for him too.

a/n
hi everyone
literally going back there after over a year
watch me dissappear for another one now (let's hope not)
love you all and sorry for the wait
thank you for being there,
x