Lovers of Yesterday

Chapter 4 • Lonely

"What d'you want?" He sounded bored.

I messed with the seam of my jeans before answering, "There was a picture that Alexandria showed me and it was all over Snapchat. I just wanted to ask you about it."

He looked over and stared at me before dropping his head back on the pillow and groaning. He stood up and approached me, crossing his arms. I bit the inside of my cheek and looked past him to the kitchen, unable to look him in the eye. So much for confidence.

"Are you talking about the one of me sitting with Sofia? Babe, she's my sister," he pointed out like it was obvious.

I nodded, "Ok, I just wanted to make sure with you."

Instead of going back to the couch, he stood in front of me for a couple of minutes. I picked at my thumb, waiting for him to either move away or say something. He exhaled and uncrossed his arms, running his fingers through his dark hair.

"You worry too much Ry. I ain't cheating on you so just relax. If you want this to work, you're gonna have to trust me. Stop being so insecure," he chastised.

Trust. Funny. I want to trust him but I'm not sure if I should. Either way, I nodded, accepting his words. Without another word, he turned around and walked back over to the couch, dropping onto the cushions. I stood there for a second longer before turning and walking back to the kitchen. I can distract myself by making dinner. Spaghetti bake sounds good.

I started pulling out ingredients and pans, along with the recipe card. Once everything was out, I started making dinner. While I worked, my mind drifted to what Liam said about his sister, Sofia. He's never told me about his family, instead saying he doesn't have a good relationship with them. I sensed a lie but I didnt want to start another fight because of it.

And I had no proof to back up that feeling. It was just a feeling. I've never met his family to know if he's lying or telling the truth. Damn, I hate this conflicted feeling. I didn't even mention the scene at the ice cream place. I know that would have definitely started a fight. Come to think of it, he never said anything about me leaving. He didn't interrogate me like he normally does. He hates it when I don't tell him where I'm going and with who.

I poured the cooked noodles into the pan, layering the meat, sauce, and cheese over them. Once I made sure I had everything, I stuck the glass pan into the preheated oven and closed it while starting the timer on my phone. I didn't want to go back out to the living room right now. Instead, I sat at the little two-person table I had pushed against the wall.

I stared at the black phone screen for a minute, hesitating to decide what app to open. I didn't want to look at Snapchat yet. I knew the picture would stilll be up. I know Liam said she was his sister but I just didn't want to answer everyone who was asking if we're still together.

Instead, I chose to go to my text messages. I wanted to tell Alexandria that everything is ok.

Hey, just wanted to say everything's ok. Thank you for offering to sleep at your place, though.

It took a few minutes but she responded shortly after.

Np sweetie
What was his excuse this time?

He said the girl he was sitting with was his sister. I just accepted his answer because I don't want to start another fight.

I call bs but ok, do I need to drive you to work tmrw?

No, I can walk. It's not very far from the apartment.

Alright, thanks for telling me that you're ok, I'll text you later

Ok, bye.

I closed out of my texts and clicked on Pintrest. I like just scrolling through the feed and looking at all of the different asthetics. I knew I would never be able to have something like what I see but it's nice to imagine sometimes.

"Ryder, bring me another beer," Liam called from the living room. No please, just a demand.

Closing out of Pintrest, I got up to get his drink. I opened it for him and threw the bottle cap away while carrying it out to him. At least he had the empty beer bottle out of the koozie. Grabbing the koozie, I zipped up the new beer and took the empty bottle back to the trashcan. No 'thank you', either.

A few seconds after I threw the bottle away, the timer on my phone went off. I grabbed two rubber grippers and opened the oven, pulling the scalding pan out and setting it on the counter. I turned the oven off and busied myself with grabbing plates and silverware, letting the food cool off some.

After setting the plates out, I grabbed a serving spoon and started scooping heaping mounds onto the plates. Right as I finished filling the last plate, Liam strolled in and stopped next to me. I turned to him, hoping that he'd pick up a plate.

Instead, he announced, "I'm going over to a friend's."

He didn't give an explanation or anything. For a second, an angry flame rose in my chest but I tampered it down quickly. He knew I was cooking. There is no way he didn't smell or hear it. He chose to wait after I finished to tell me. Or his friend just texted him. Maybe that's the case. I'll go with that.

"Ok, I guess I'll save the rest of this," I sighed, glancing at the large dish that still held most of the spaghetti bake.

He shrugged, "Whaever. Do what you want."

Without another word or a kiss goodbye, he left and I listened as the door slammed behind him. Then I was left in the empty apartment it two full plates. One wasn't going to be touched until tomorrow when I eat it for lunch. I scraped it back into the pan and took my plate along with one of Liam's beers to the table. I almost never drink but I needed one now.

I propped my phone on the small vase centerpiece and found a random video on YouTube to watch so I didn't feel as lonely. It's better than eating in the still silence.

• • •

Fifteen minutes later, I was full and relaxed, rinsinging my plate and sticking it in the dishwasher. I bent down and found a decent sized tupperware in the cabinet which I scraped the uneaten spaghetti into.

I rinsed the pan and stuck it in the dishwasher as well before shutting it and drying my hands. Leaving the kitchen, I turned the light off and wandered back to my room. I had no clue if Liam was going to come back. He never tells me. Sometimes he stays out, sometimes he comes back in the middle of the night.

I have work tomorrow. I can't stay up late, worrying about where he is. I grabbed the just-in-case bag I packed earlier and pulled out the folded uniform, setting it on my dresser. I pulled everything else out and put the stuff I didn't need away before turning to head to the bathroom. My eyes unintentionally landed on the bags of clothes Alexandria bought me. I guess I'll do laundry after work tomorrow.

Without another thought, I headed to the bathroom.

Twenty minutes later, I was stepping out, ready for bed. That one beer was enough to make me tired. I yawned as I trudged around the room. I dropped my dirty clothes on the hamper and grabbed my phone off the nightstand, checking the alarm I had set. I don't like being late. I double checked I had most everything out and ready before slipping under the tan quilt and falling asleep instantly.