Lovers of Yesterday

Chapter 10 • Details

Lynch was relaxed back on the couch, almost identical to Liam. The only major differences were he didn't put his feet on the coffee table and he said please and thank you. I forced myself to sit next to him, even if I was only hunched forward on the edge of the couch. I paid attention to the conversations around me to distract myself.

I was still nervous around him even after my conversation with E. I know she's right but it's not easy to just change in the span of a few minutes. I wish it was. Then I wouldn't feel this scared of going against Liam.

"So Lynch, I heard you just moved out here. Where're you from?" Dakota asked while pushing himself up on the couch.

Lynch sat forward and leaned on his knees, dangerously close to me, "I lived up in Ohio, a place called Fayette. It's pretty small. The population is under two thousand."

"So you're used to this small type area. Thomson's not as small as Fayette but still decently spaced out."

"Yeah. I like knowing people wherever I go. It's probably because I knew everyone where I lived in Ohio but oh well."

"Well, youve certainly made friends with us." Ember commented, "You have a place yet?"

Lynch shook his head, "No, I was looking before I moved but I couldn't go and look at the places so it was just kinda pushed to the back. Now that I'm here, I'll probably start looking for apartments again."

Dakota excused himself to the bathroom and everyone kept talking. I slowly sank back into the couch, feeling unnecessary. I was still worried I'd slip up and let Liam know that I was hanging out with Lynch. He barely even let me see Dakota but backed down from that because Ember had a few words with him. I don't know what those words were but I do know it ended with me being able to hang out with her and Dakota.

"Ryder!" I jolted when I heard my name.

A quick glance confirmed that everyone was staring at me. Dria was the one that called my name. I sat forward and looked to her first for answers. I was acutely aware of Lynch's eyes on me but chose to not look at him. I was already embarrassed enough to have blanked out.

"Damn girl, I called your name like three times. Are you ok?" She teasingly chastised.

I nodded, "Yeah, I'm ok. I just blanked out. I'm sorry."

"Don't worry. You don't need to apologize. We just wanted to ask if you knew about any vacancies in your apartment building," she explained.

"Oh, um," I thought for a minute, "I don't know. I haven't noticed any and I haven't asked. Do I need to?"

Lynch replied behind me, "No, they just suggested the complex you live in. I can go up and ask myself."

"Oh ok. The rental decent. It'd be easier if there are two incomes. Um, you might want to start looking for a better job if you want to live comfortably. I've been living almost paycheck to pay check with working at the café," I gave him more information while turning to look at him.

"Ok. I chose to work there cause it's simple enough while I settle in. I'll probably start looking for a better job when it comes time to move."

I nodded and hunkered back down. That's enough conversation out of me. He took a last swig from his beer and set it down on the coffee table. Dakota's and Ember's empty bottles were also on the coffee table. I took the opportunity to grab them and disappear to the kitchen. I wanted to be alone. I needed to calm myself down.

I dumped them all into the trash can, listening as they clicked together. Instead of rejoining my friends, I leaned against the counter and just looked around. I wrapped my arms around my stomach, messing with the hem of my shirt. Besides the chatter in the living room, it was quiet.

I wonder what Liam is doing.

He was adamant on me not being in the apartment when his friends were there. Maybe he doesn't want to seem weak in front of them for having a girlfriend? Or he just wanted to hang out with them and watch old football games. Even with all the scenarios running rampant through my head, one clung to me the longest. One I'd rather not imagine.

He wanted me out so he could bring another girl over.

There's no way that's possible. He said he loves me. He wouldn't cheat if he loves me. Right? It's impossible. Just yesterday, he told me there was no need to worry over the girl he was with because she's his sister. See? He's loyal. He promised he would be when we started dating.

Someone clearing their throat made me jump and my head swivel to see who it was. It was Lynch. He was watching me with concern and curiosity. I turned my head away and lowered my eyes to the floor. He probably thinks I'm some nut job. I winced again when a flare of pain rose in my head. Of course the head ache was back.

"Are you ok, Ryder?" He asked, sounding genuinely worried.

I nodded quickly which was a mistake, "Ah, yeah. I'm fine, just needed a minute to myself."

He didn't reply and I had to will my head to turn so I could look at him again. He very obviously didn't looked convinced. He stepped in and leaned against the wall next to the doorway. He mimicked me by crossing his arms.

"Do I make you uncomfortable?"

I was so taken aback by his outright question that I physically recoiled, "I, uh... it's difficult to explain but it's not you specifically. You seem very nice and you're easy to get along with."

He took my words into consideration but still never looked away, "Do you have a man in your life? Is that why you're nervous around me?"

I slowly nodded, making sure that I was positive of my answer. I still didn't feel confident and Lynch didn't seem convinced either. I was starting to feel nervous from how long he has been looking at me. Why did he have to come in here?

He stared at me a few minutes longer. Just before he looked away, I swear I saw his unyielding eyes soften. Just a little. If they did, I had no proof of it. He was back to the blank look he had a few seconds earlier. He pushed off the wall and approached the refrigerator, opening it and pulling out another beer.

I eyed it warily but said nothing. It didn't seem like Lynch noticed my worry as he shut it and walked back to the living room. I hesitantly followed and found him reclined back in his spot on the couch. He was talking about something with Dakota and taking an occasional sip of his beer.

I shuffled back to my spot and sat down closer the Dria this time. She gave me a look that said she wanted to know what happened but didn't say anything. I sat back and shut my eyes, willing my headache to leave. It was coming in at full force now but I didn't want to take any medicine. I felt Dria's hand squeeze my forearm but still, she said nothing.

• • •

Two hours later, I was hugging Ember and saying goodbye to her and Dakota. They both had work tomorrow so they needed to go home and sleep. I didn't want them to leave because Ember had a better understanding of me and what I was feeling. Lynch was hanging back, still not fully a part of our group. The door swung shut behind them as they left to go home.

I sat on the arm of the couch, blankly staring at the wall next to the door. I only looked away when Alexandria stood in front of me. She placed her hands on her hips and raised her eyebrows, silently asking why I was out of it. I shook me head and sat up straight. That was a mistake. A wave of nausea hit my stomach and I curled forward, trying to surpress the urge to puke.

Dria was kneeling in front of me now, her eyes searching me for answers. Lynch came to stand next to us but hesitated. He didn't know what to do. Another wave hit me and I squeezed my sides willing myself not to puke.