Our first time again

Swallow

Bucky's POV

I woke up from a nightmare the nightmare I have every couple of nights, as usual I went down to the kitchen and got a drink of water from the fridge but as I took my head out of the fridge I saw Peter standing there with tears he was trying so hard not to let fall.

"Pete?" Bucky said

"I... I'm sorry" Peter said as he saw Bucky didn't seem himself "are you ok?"

"Yeah just a nightmare that's all" Bucky said

"Wanna talk about it?" Peter asked

"Um yeah ok... you coming" Bucky asked

"Yeah" Peter said as they walk into Bucky's room and Bucky sits on his bed while Peter sits on his knees with his left arm snaked around Bucky's neck and the other hand on his head "My nightmares are from HYDRA, I am stuck in a Room being tortured and then I'm out in the open killing people I wake up just as I shoot a little boy"

"It's ok James, your not there anymore you were being controlled  you had no say over the things that happened, but now your here with me" Peter said before Bucky put his head back as Peter kissed his forehead

"Wanna talk about yours?" Bucky asked

"N-no I'm sorry I just don't wanna relive it more then I have to" Peter said kind of scared

"I understand we can just sit here" Bucky said because the truth is he loved having Peter around him he was finally happy but he knew 2 thing Peter would never admit to his feelings and Bucky was a heartbreaker not a heartbreakee but Peter was breaking his

"Bucky..." Peter said before letting go of him and laying on the bed with his head in his lap

"What is it" Bucky asked while he ran his fingers through Peters hair

"I-... I'm sorry I guess" Peter said as he looked up at Bucky

"For what?" Bucky asked confused

"I can't give you the things most people want" Peter said as he sat up

"What would that be?" Bucky asked confused

"I can't give you love, or a relationship or even tell you about my past, I can't give you the 3 things people want" Peter said before trying to get up only to be pulled back down into a hard passionate kiss by Bucky as their lips connected Peter rapped his legs around Bucky and put his hand around Bucky's neck pushing him back, Bucky put his hands on Peter waist and pulled him closer now there is no room between the 2 men. This kiss was not full of lust and desire no for the first time both the men were experiencing a love and passion they both knew they had but would never have thought to reveal, Bucky's reason was he didn't want to be rejected while Peters was he thought if he didn't admit it those feelings they would go away he couldn't fall back into the trap he used to be in. "No" Peter pulled back from the kiss

"Why" Bucky asked slightly confused

"Because I said no I'm going to bed goodnight" Peter got up but once again Bucky grabbed him and pulled him back onto him but this time he didn't kiss him

"Stay here the night" Bucky said

"No" Peter said before getting up and walking out this time Bucky didn't stop him

~~~~~~~

I got rejected that night and things were awkward to put it lightly the next day Peter brought his friend Flash over and every day after that I think he was trying to avoid me but I was doing the same, I don't know why though, why would we act like it was a big deal because in reality it wasn't I had rejected him many times before and he had done the same, so what made this time different?