Inconsolable » Squid [Holes]

15: Next Time You Point a Finger

This chapter details victim blaming in response to a past sexual assault occurrence therefore this chapter may be potentially triggering. Proceed with caution.

If X-Ray hadn't been there for Squid when he first arrived at Camp Green Lake, Squid would have hated him. He was so smug and always seemed to come out on top no matter what happened to him. X-Ray had eased into his position in D-Tent when Squid first arrived. They clashed upon their first meeting; X-Ray poked and prodded at him until he lashed out and threatened to snap his arm. Which, he was quick to find, was what X-Ray wanted.

He had a mouth and a mouth like his needed to be protected. Armpit was his first recruit; his intimidating size kept people away from him but when it came to a fight Armpit had the power but he lacked the speed. X-Ray needed someone else and that's where Squid came in. X-Ray sniffed out Squid's offensive nature almost right away; Squid spoke with his fists rather than with his words and if X-Ray had a few layers of protection around him, he could keep his mouth and his brain safe while simultaneously getting what he needed done.

In this particular case it meant getting the unidentified object from Caveman. All Squid had to do was stand next to X-Ray and he'd reap some sort of benefit as X-Ray worked the camp. When it came to getting days off, it was every man for himself and X-Ray knew when to use them and when to dump them. No one crossed X-Ray, not even Squid even though he wished he could. But he was in too deep and he knew it. X-Ray getting the day off would be better than X-Ray sulking and being personally offended that Caveman got it instead.

With a mighty yawn, Squid pulled his jumpsuit up over his legs and stomped his feet into his boots. Another day, another hole. At least he knew what he was getting himself into as the sun rose each day. In fact, he preferred it to the uncertainties of his civilian life. At least at Camp Green Lake he didn't have to worry about police busting down his door, the power shutting off, his mom dying before his eyes, or disappointing someone else. Being at Camp Green Lake was easy. Being at Camp Green Lake gave him room to breathe.

"Let's go, let's go, let's go!" Pendanski shouted as they shuffled towards the Library for their shovels. "Today's another day, boys! Grab those shovels and let's attack the day!"

"Wish someone would attack his face with a shovel." Squid snorted. He covered up his smile by brushing his hand across his nose and then locked eyes with Mouse. Her face remained blank but her eyes gave away that she was responsible for the quiet comment. A second later she averted her eyes and shoved breakfast into his hand—honey covered tortillas again.

He licked the excess sticky substance off his hand and turned away from her. Honey and tortillas combined he hated, honey by itself he loved. Always had, ever since he was a little kid. Not that he had a choice, it tended to be his snack whenever they were running low on food. His mom would open a jar, hand him a spoon, and let him have at it. He briefly wondered, once, if that was the reason he ended up with diabetes. That'd be a cruel twist of fate. Just like his life.

He glanced back at Mouse as he went for his shovel. It was still weird seeing her every day. It didn't feel like it used to, though. Not even close. He wasn't even sure if things could go back to the way they used to, if he wanted them to. There were too many words flung between them, too many gritted teeth and icy stares and accusations.

Not that he missed her.

Every time he looked at her a surge of anger was the first thing to burst through him, like a geyser, but then it faded and he felt...unsettled. Like he was wobbling off balance and there was nothing for him to reach out and hold onto until he got his feet back on the ground. It bothered him, how disarming she was. One moment she'd be sitting back, quiet like she always was, just taking everything in and then the next he'd find himself laughing at one of her surprisingly snarky comments. Just like he used to. Because it was so odd coming from her. Or maybe it was normal and it was just odd to him.