Inconsolable » Squid [Holes]

24: Fire and Fury

For the first time in months, Mickey could breathe. The thorny vines that had been wrapped around her lungs, constricting her, were removed by the roots and new, fresh air seeped in. When she awoke her chest ached and, for a second, she worried that she was having a medical emergency. A few deep breaths later and she became calm, content, at peace. It lay on her like a thick, warm blanket, pressing into every muscle, molding to her form. She missed it.

A few blinks of her bleary eyes reminded her where she was: up on Squid's cot, in the middle of the desert; but the cloak of dread following that reminder didn't stand a chance. Not while she could breathe, not while she held Squid's hand.

She smiled a sleepy smile at the sight of him on the floor, all bedhead and legs tangled in his loose blankets. Her mind flashed back to the nights he'd sneak in through her window, looking for food, sleep, and safety. She rubbed her thumb across his knuckles. They weren't perfect—far from it—they still had things to work on, but it was a start. And starting was better than standing in place.

She slipped her hand from his and rolled out of bed. She had to face the day at some point, face B-Tent at some point. Might as well get it over with. Careful to rub the sleep out of her eyes and not rub glitter back in, she maneuvered her way to her crate and pulled on her clean set of clothes. The other set would have to go to the wash that day. She yanked on her boots and tiptoed out of the tent, careful to step over the one creaky wood slat by the entrance. She'd made it only part way to the kitchens when her ears caught on to an odd sound behind her: footsteps.

Her breath halted and the little hairs on the back of her neck rose. Her hands trembled by her side and she curled her fingers, pressing the nails into her palms. Her muscles tensed, ready...for something. To run, to fight, to freeze, she didn't know which option her body would take now, after everything. But first she turned only to let out a loud woosh of relief when she spotted Zigzag and Magnet behind her. Her heart thudded in her chest, she almost wished it would burst right out and beat them down into the ground. What were they doing up and why were they following her? Her exasperated expression and raised eyebrow prompted Magnet to fill in an answer to her silent question.

"X-Ray."

A flash of surprise flickered within her but then she recalled his stance from the night before. They fucked with one of us. We can't just let them get away with that. Not on my watch. She was one of them. They protected their own. This is what they did. Her satisfaction at the notion was bittersweet; she was in the group, but she hadn't foreseen being there so long that blending in would be an option.

With wringing hands, Mickey steadied her breathing and crossed the rest of the distance to the kitchen, her two shadows in tow. She didn't know what she'd say to Eagle, or even if she'd talk to him at all, but the anticipation swelled in her like a balloon only for it all to leak out at once when she stepped inside the kitchen and saw it empty save for a few of the older staff workers.

Her eyebrows furrowed at the sight. After all that, Eagle couldn't even show his face? Maybe Squid was right, and his nickname was contradictory to his actions. Maybe theirs should be switched, he should be Mouse to go hand-in-hand with his cowardice. She sniffed, her mouth turning down into a half frown, half grimace. She wasn't sure which emotion to land on: confusion, anger, disgust, or relief. So, she didn't feel anything, instead choosing to go straight to work. The sooner they finished, the sooner she could get to digging her hole. At least then she could pretend the dirt she stabbed into were B-Tent's faces.

But those were scarce even when they had breakfast served, which Mickey knew the rest of D-Tent found odd as much as she did. Through their sleepy gazes she spied the confusion and even some righteous indignation. She understood, it burned in her belly, but she kept her face a mask when she answered their morning grunts with brief greetings.