Inconsolable » Squid [Holes]

28: Squid

"You were right."

Mickey stopped midsentence at Squid's declaration; it came out all in one rush, smushed together in one bulleted word. Her jaw snapped up, pressing her lips into a line. She'd barely passed the paper she held in her hands to Zero when Squid let out an impatient breath and grasped her upper arm, easily hauling her to her feet from Caveman's bed. She shot him an apologetic look and followed Squid out of the tent.

She hadn't changed into her pajamas yet; her boots scuffed against the ground in her effort to catch up to him, almost tipping forward when she didn't lift her foot all the way. Only when he approached the empty shower stall did he slow, tugging her around the side until they were partially shielded at the back. His eyes quickly scanned the space over her head, checking in the distance until his eyes rested back on her face. She squinted against the dying sunlight, taking in the unkempt ruffle to his hair, as if he'd been pulling at it, and the worrying to his jaw. What happened in the Mess Hall after she left? She opened her mouth, ready to ask when he spoke first.

"Did you hear me?" Squid asked.

"I think so," Mickey replied. She started pinching her arm. "Thing is I've never heard you say that to me; gotta see if I'm dreaming or hallucinating."

"Ha ha."

She stuck a finger in her ear and wiggled it around before cracking a teasing grin. "Mind saying it again? Just to make sure I heard you right?"

"I'm being serious."

The jest drained from her, being replaced by outright confusion. She looked harder, at the clench to his jaw and the pucker of skin between his brows and the intensity in his eyes. Something quivered in her at the sight of it, the intensity, and she brushed it aside as some sort of foreboding. The only other time she'd seen that look on someone's face was when her father told her her grandfather died.

"Okay." She sucked in a breath, shifted her weight in her feet to feel the ground beneath her, bracing for impact. "What's up?"

"You were right," Squid repeated, the words separate and slow this time. She didn't have time to ask him to elaborate as he rushed on, "About Brett having a way to be in contact with the camp."

Even with her own hunch propelling her, hearing the words spoken aloud hit her like a ton of bricks. Her breath stumbled and her heart stuttered, and her pulse skittered beneath her skin. She swiped her tongue against her lower lip and dragged a hand down her face. Okay, okay, okay, just...okay...

It was an odd form of stasis she found herself in, trapped between being relieved that she wasn't crazy and upset for having her suspicions confirmed. Something constricted in her throat; she tugged at the collar of her shirt and wrapped one arm around her midsection. A roaring sounded in her ears, like large waves crashing on a beach, taking the sand from beneath her feet, reaching for her. "How do you know I'm right?"

Squid moved to speak, his jaw slackening, and then closed his mouth. He pushed a breath through his nose and shoved his hands into the large pockets. "...Y'aint gonna like it."

She uttered a chest-heaving sigh. "Don't. Just...stop trying to protect me. Okay? I can handle it, whatever it is." All that protection her mother tried to throw on her over the years did nothing but ensnare her and leave her to drown. God, she was so sick of being handled like she was made of porcelain, ready to break at any second.

"D'you remember Colton?"

Her nose wrinkled. "Kind of. Leslie's boyfriend." He was just a figure in the halls, a few years older than her, always with his beat-up backpack and an easygoing grin on his face. She hummed. It was still odd to think back to the life she had at home, the people who still went on with their lives while hers seemed to be trapped in a dusty bubble or snowglobe. "Didn't he get expelled?"