Hetalia Crack: "The Post-Apocalyptic World"

America's Erection

"What's going on Japan?" Italy sat down at the table and started drinking his coffee. "The other day I was tarking to America. He was expraining what an erection is rike down there, it sounds rearry tough. I got to see it myserf, and I just think it's a bit sad. No one gets arong quite the same ever again when they find out which side someone's on." Japan looked down at the table sadly.

Italy spat his coffee all over Germany who was asleep on the couch 10 feet away. "Italy" He yelled after his arm got splashed with the scorching liquid. "Sorry, Germany!" Italy squeaked. Germany got up to wash his arm by the kitchen sink.

"Why did you spit coffee arr over Germany?" He asked. "I was shocked at what you said, I didn't know you were that close to America!" Italy rambled. Germany turned off the faucet and went outside into the front yard.

"I don't think anyone needs to be that crose to him to know what his erections are rike. We can arr see them from a mire away, you can easiry find a photo onrine-" Japan was interrupted when Italy shot a beam of coffee out the window and doused Germany in the front yard. "Italy!!" He yelled.

"I guess I'rr stop tarking about it if it shocks you so much." Japan dismissed the subject and got up from the kitchen table. "Excuse me, I'rr be going now..." He exited the room. Italy ran outside into the front yard.

"Germany, Germany!" Italy ran to where he was sitting. "Vould you like to explain vhy you keep spitting coffee on me?" He glared at his ally. "That's what I came out here to talk about, I guess you didn't overhear, ve!~" Italy eagerly sat in the lawn chair next to Germany.

"Japan was telling me how he saw America's erection, isn't that insane? He was going on about how sad it was too. Weird, right?" He gesticulated the story with his hands. "Italy, I'm pretty sure he vas trying his best to say election and didn't realize." Germany spoke. "Oh..!" Italy opened his eyes. "Are you still sure it's not a metaphor for something else? Like, when I have to tell people I eat your wurst?" Italy laughed.

"ITALY!!!" Germany yelled and all the birds within a 35 mile radius evacuated.