la la lost you ; b. yedam

ch. 1

[YEDAM'S]

february 14.

the most overrated date on the calendar. i still don't understand how valentines work. for me, it would just be another day for my college life. i stared at the ceiling having an internal battle within myself whether i should go to my university or just stay inside rather than to see couples giving each other chocolates that contains too much sugar.

but i ended up deciding to get up anyway. i toss my towel on my shoulder and went straight to shower, fighting another urge to just stay in bed, in my pajamas and drink coffee. and probably listen to olivia rodrigo's sour album, too.

but my mind just seem to do everything on its own and it decided to just continue and leave my dreaded apartment. do i have some problems with my brain nerves affecting my motor coordination or something? how do one even do something their mind opposes to do?

grabbing my long down jacket, i left my apartment and shuddered in cold.

see? it's the season of cold. why do people celebrate valentines in winter instead of fall or spring? damn it.

it was just another cold morning complemented with chilly air, i promenade on the streets to mitigate stress from morning restlessness. i was on my way to the train station to go to my university. and just to my luck the train i am supposed to take to school was loading. i slipped into the tiny spaces on the thick crowd when i suddenly had an impulse to take another train and just escape school.

and this time, my body cooperated with me so i message doyoung that i was sick and to tell my professors about it and asked him for notes, on the process too.

i waited for the next train while looking at the white snow.

snow is overrated. they're just white-colored sand that melts and overall very annoying that it makes me mad sometimes. i hated winter. it's too cold and the heater in my apartment is broken. ah damn, i forgot to pay the rent for this month again.

i looked up as soon as i heard someone humming to keshi's drunk and the next thing that happened jittered me. it was a girl around my age wearing a scarf dangling on her neck and airpods on her ears, and she was pretty. i guess i was staring too much that she seemed to notice it and looked at me. she greeted me with a smile and asked where i was going and before i even noticed it i was already being unresponsive.

i stuttered and answered "yes."

she looked at me before laughing. and in the speed of light, i started cursing beneath my breath. why the hell did i reply a yes to a where question? what the heck is wrong with me?

"i'm sorry. i meant hey and i'm taking the next train and without any definite destination." i answered, and managed to not stutter and utter weird and out-of-the-blue 'yes'.

she just nodded and looked at the train rack again. and there goes my first conversation today. awkward and stupid. well, not that i care, i was not in the mood to socialize anyway.

but why does she seemed familiar?

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ayo. i wonder if this chapter was good. lmao see yall tomorrow.