la la lost you ; b. yedam

ch. 7

[ YEDAM'S ]

"yang hyunsuk, the ceo said they were wrong. he further explained that even though they have forgotten everything the sensory information the thalamus relayed on the amygdala, it is still not proven effective. he said that, our patients that underwent break-ups and our procedure ended up finding each other again. there was no point of erasing someone from your memories because history is bound to repeat itself, he explained. and just today, the lacuna incorporation which was known for erasing someone from their memories who has given them grief and pain was announced closed. lacuna incorporation has also stated that they will disseminate their clients' files and memories to their respective owner. he added to "keep your memories. they're your treasures." as the last statement of the announcement." the radio said.

"oh wow. i didn't know that kind of facility existed." naeun said as she faced me. "but you know the word lacuna sound so familiar too! where have i heard that word." she put her hand on her chin and started thinking.

"maybe in your class." i shrugged and continued walking.

"yeah! you're right." she said and ran to caught up with me. "what about you, yedam? if you were given a chance to erase the memories of the person you love will you erase them?"

"there are moments when i wish i could roll back the clock and take all the sadness away, but i have the feeling that if I did, the joy would be gone as well." i said.

"huh?"

"that's what nicholas sparks wrote in his book a walk to remember, right? he's telling us that memories, painful or not, are not meant to be forgotten. you should cherish your memories because you might end up losing the happiness you once had before. i don't want to forget the person i used to love. i want them, in here." i pointed my heart. "in my memories." then my brain.

"why?" for the third time- she had stopped from her tracks once again, making me do the same.

"what "why"?" i asked her confusingly as i faced her whose head was hanging low.

"why do you want to remember who hurt you?" she asked in an almost whispering tone.

"because-" i couldn't continue what i was saying when she had a sudden outburst.

"memories tear you apart! they're worst than bullets, yedam. they're like knives. the edge will always cut you apart. and time does not heal you at all. it's a lie."

i was flabbergasted. we had a lot of disagreements but this was the first time she was angry at my opinion. why?

"it's a lie. because no matter what you do you will always remember what that person has done to you." she said, with hurt eyes.

"but would you want to erase all those happy moments too?"

"yes."

"why?"

"because they will hurt me, too! they will keep on reminding of how much i loved them. i'm a shallow person, yedam. i don't want to feel pain. i don't want to feel sadness." her scary eyes soften and it became sadder in a split second.

"but you had and will always experience pain, naeun. as long as you live. it's part of life. and time never heals the pain, that's true. but you must learn to let go." i reasoned out.

"how?"

with furrowed eyebrows i asked "what you mean how?"

"how can you let go of someone who used to gave you butterflies if you can still remember everything about them?"

-

that's three chapters for today. see y'all
soon HSVSHSHSHSH