Smoke

2.2

I'm going to die I'm going to die I'm going to die I'm going to die I'm going to die I'm going to die
I'm going to die I'm going to die I'm going to die I'm going to die I'm going to die I'm going to die. I repeat that over and over in my head because that's what this feels like death, "He died" Her words repeat over and over in my head blocking out any other noise.

I want to scream or cry or both because I'm staring at the white flooring that smells like death, I want to rewind everything and go back to last night and I should of made Jack stay the night I should of held him all night but I didn't and I regret that so much.

I stand back on my feet feeling dizzy, I feel high and totally out of it mostly I feel numb and confused. I don't believe this he can't be dead he was just with me last night, I held him last night! No, no, no he's here this is just some very sick joke and everyone is very good at acting. I still can't breathe like I'm not immune to air

JACK'S P.O.V.
- - -

I think I'm finally earning her trust, making her fall for me again because I could fall one thousand times and then do it four thousand times more because she makes falling for her so easy. It's so easy and so hard because she makes you want to be your best at everything.

I put my favorite dark blue polo shirt on with my best pair of blue jeans along with my converse, I took almost all morning making sure everything was perfect and that I looked nice. For Winter because she only deserves the best.

I kiss my aunt Mary goodbye and grab my car keys and jog out to my truck, I slide in turning the truck on and I drive off. I go through town because there is the nice flower shop and I wanted to get her white roses with pink tulips in there. I pull into Flo's Flower's which was a pretty clever name, once I get the flowers I head to Dollar General that has chocolates in there. I have everything now, I start pulling out of Dollar General and a transfer truck comes speeding as I pull out I go to swerve to miss the truck but it crushes into mine.

I feel like I'm dead now, my truck flips and turns. I need to get to Winter. "I need Winter!" I shout or try to but it sound like a breath instead. And soon it turns black.

END OF JACK'S P.O.V

Death, death tears everyone apart or mends them together. But believe death is killing me.
I try to not think but then I think about not thinking and thinking about not thinking leads to thinking about why I was trying not to think in the first place.

I'm at home now I couldn't stay in that hospital any longer than I was, I read somewhere once it said "Give two days to yourself to mourn, and two more to give for the other people to mourn."
But I felt like I needed a lot more than two days, now I know that I was hands down, completely, utterly, tragically, madly, truly, in love with Jack Milred. But who am I kidding a blind women could see how in love with Jack I was, and a deaf man could ear my love for him, but I couldn't until now. But I can't show him I do.