Always Red

Original Edition: Chapter 1 - want me

Veronica

With my head bowed low, I stood in front of Caleb's building, arguing with myself whether I should go in or not. This had been my home with him... before.

It wasn't anymore.

I knew good things didn't last... Every time something good happened, it would be followed with something bad. And maybe, just maybe, this time it would be good again.

Last time I entered this building, I had gotten a new phone and a present for Caleb. Had he seen it yet? Did he keep it or throw it away?

Heart racing, I grasped my hands together and tried not to wring them. Was he home? Would he let me in? What if he refused to let me in?

If Caleb rejected me, I didn't know if I could handle it...

You rejected him first. What gives you the right to ask him not to reject you?

Nothing.

I want you to fight for me just as I fought for you. But you wouldn't.

I closed my eyes tightly. It hurt every time I heard his voice in my head. I wasn't ready before, but I was ready to hear everything he had to say now. Beatrice said they had kissed and implied that they did something more after.

Caleb said they didn't sleep together. Now that anger wasn't clouding my thinking, I realized that he had never lied to me before. If anything, he was too honest. Would he lie about something as serious as this? No, I realized, he wouldn't. And he... he was the only person who never gave up on me.

Don't ask me to let go of you. I can't...

But did he still want me? Had he let go of me after what I've done?

I took a deep breath, pushing away my fears. I had enough of letting them take over me... but I knew that wasn't true. My fears were nipping away at my heels, waiting to pounce at my slightest weakness. 

Gathering my courage, I stepped forward and entered the lobby. And froze. Beatrice was walking out of the elevator, her steps fast and determined. What was she doing here?

No one was allowed to go up unless the receptionist called the tenant, and the tenant gave the go ahead. So Caleb must have told her to go up. It made me take a step back.

What if something was going on between them? What if Caleb had given up on me and realized I wasn't worth it?

No, no. Didn't you just say you believed him? You would fight for him?

Damn right I would fight for him.

Maybe Beatrice was trying to manipulate him again, pretending to be hurt and helpless to get what she wanted. If she tried anything with Caleb again, she'd get more than a slap from me this time.

The kiss last night wasn't his fault. It was mine, she had said.

Did he really kiss her? I had to know, and the only person that could tell me was Caleb. I needed to find him.

I narrowed my eyes as I watched her get into a taxi. She had changed her clothes since I saw her last. Appearing like an innocent dove, she was wearing a white baby doll dress that ended above her knees, her hair swept off from her beautiful face with a black headband. She had lost her heels in favor of white flats.

You'd never know that she was a snake behind that beautiful face.

Praying to God that Caleb hadn't removed me off the list, I casually strolled to the elevators and let out a relieved breath when security smiled at me and didn't stop me.