React (shadow hunters)

18

My bags are packed. Well, bag. I'm not bringing much, my decision. Being at the London institute isn't supposed to be a permanent placement. It's temporary. So why would I take all my belongings there.

Im going to learn and better these magical abilities of mine — I still don't understand why Magnus can't teach me everything he knows, but oh well — and how to control them. Plus it would be a bonus to learn how to summon them on will and how to get rid of them with a single thought.

At the moment it feels as if they're almost controlling me. That I'm inhabiting it's body and not it in mine. It's my body, it's my magic. It would be nice to have my own body back without the lingering fear that an explosion of power I have no control of threatening to wipe out everyone around me.

"Are you ready?" My aunt asks me. I know this is effecting her. She travels for work, but even then we're mostly in the same bloody country. Here I'm going to a place that I've never been, surrounded by people that are still foreign to me.

I bite my lip and nod my head.

"I'll miss you, Livvie," she whispers into my shoulder.

"I'll miss you too, Don—Don."

"Remember, you're only there in till you have a better understanding of your magic. Don't feel like I'm—We're trying to get rid of you. We're not. The king wants you to learn about yourself and personally I think it's best if you do too."

"I know," I sigh, before repeating myself, "I know. It's just... embarrassing, if that makes sense?"

Her lips purse, but she nods her head, "I can see why."

"Your friends will be here in a moment, pumpkin," Magnus says, walking into the room.

"Can I leave now? I'd rather not with them here," I ask him. It would be awkward and I wouldn't feel comfortable with it. But it would be sad and I'm already feeling emotional. God forbid, I don't want any of them seeing me as a weepy mess. I want to be tough—strong. But to be that then I can't have them here as I leave.

"Are you sure?" He asks. I know he thinks it's a bad idea, as does Donna, but I can't have them here.

"Yes... I'm sure," I firmly tell him.

He nods his head and opens the portal. I stare at it as if it's just told me I have five minutes left to be alive, but with a deep breath I turn to Donna.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

~

"That was a great session, Liv, well done."

I look up to Caleb and smile. He's a warlock that works closely with shadow hunters and has also become one of my good friends. I've been here for just over a month. I'll admit it now, it was a good call to send me here. I've learnt so much in such little time, and I've also grown a more in depth understanding of myself. I've spoken to my friends back in New York, but it's not the same.

They're upset at me for leaving without saying goodbye, and that's pretty much pushed a wedge between us.

"Thanks," i sigh, rubbing my forehead thats pounding.

"That's normal, you know?" He says.

"What is?"

"The head hurting. The tiredness. Feeling weak," he tells me. "You're exerting yourself. Using something from your body that you never even knew was there. If you weren't feeling pretty terrible, then I would be incredibly surprised."

"I know... I just wish I could get the hang of it. Of being both shadow-hunter and warlock."

"You can't run before you learn how to walk, Liv. Give it time, you'll get there. Besides, you're doing great."

I mumble a response and leave him with a forced smile. I miss home.

I enter my room to my phone ringing on my bed. Sighing I pick it up, seeing clary's caller ID, saying she wants to face time. I swipe, accepting the call and seeing her face pop up almost immediately.

"Hi, Liv," she says. She sounds happy, but it also sounds forced.

"Hey clary," I reply. "What's up."

"Nothing, just checking in. How are you? How are things going?"

"Good, I'm enjoying it here and learning amongst both Shadow-hunters and warlocks. I miss you guys, though."

"We miss you too, Liv. It wouldn't be this much if you had just waited for us, though."

There it is, the bite.

"I apologised for that," I tell her.

"I know, I know, I just felt abandoned... we all did."

"And I'm sorry, now tell me how things are going with you all."

"Fine. The kings been... strange lately, and this lady turned up a few days ago — she's been hanging off his arm like a bloody sloth."

I feel my heart drop. Why? I don't care about him. He's an ass.

"Oh... right. What's she like?"

"Rude, to put it simply. No one likes her but we tolerate her because of who she is."

"And who is she?" A part of me is almost scared to ask, but I do so anyway.

"She's from a high family — they run the institute in Germany. But because of that she seems to think that the rest of us should bow down to her."

I roll my eyes, "lovely."

"CLARY!"

"Sorry, that's Simon. I've got to go. Bye!"

She leaves before I can say bye back.

Funny... karma.

I lie back on the bed, not caring that my body is covered in a thin sheen of sweat and that I should probably have a shower. Two things run through my head.  The first being I miss them all. I miss them more than anything. And the second one is more of a question. Why do I feel hurt by the fact Vin has a women hanging around him?

He's a grown man, he can do whatever the fudge he wants.

But... why does my heart ache?