lost and found love (kirideku)

Part 5

TW: sh, blood (you don't actually need to read this chapter for it to make sense for the most part)

Dekus pov (I'm also going to switch to talk in present time for this chapter. I don't actually know what its called- say instead of said etc.)

I miss you mom... I miss you so much! I don't know what to do without you here. Why did you leave me? Why? I just want the pain to go away. I want to stop feeling so empty. I want the weight on my chest to lift, I want to feel free. 

I run into the bathroom and lock the door. I haven't done this in a long time. I grab the blade out of its hiding spot near the sink. 

Stupid me always messing things up. Why do I ruin everything? Why is this what makes me feel so weak? I've been through a lot in the past month but this is what hits me the hardest? I'm useless, just like Kacchan always says. I should've taken his advice in middle school. Why am I even here? 

I bleed a lot that night. This used to help me shift the focus in middle school. I missed this feeling. 

mom would be disappointed in me if she was here.

The blade is a welcome friend. 

stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid

A constant chant in my head, always there.

Why did I think Uraraka ever loved me? Why did anyone ever love me? All I do is make mistakes. I hate everything. I hate me.

***

I hear a sudden knock on the door and panic. Wrapping my arms in bandages and putting on my sweatshirt as fast as possible, I say loudly to the door, "Who is it?" My voice sounds scratchy and my throat feels dry. I'm really dehydrated from all of the crying I've done lately. 

"Hey Midobro, its Kiri. You've been in there a while so I was just checking if you were alraight." That sentence hit me really hard and I started crying again. "Mido?" It felt amazing to have someone genuinely ask if i was okay, and not just empty how are you doing's either. 

"I'm n-not okay Kiri. But I'll be okay e-eventually. The world moves forward." I know he probably knows better than anyone how I feel at the moment. 

I really wanna talk to someone like him but I don't want to be a burden. Kiri breaks my train of thought by asking, "Do you wanna talk?" How the HECK did he do that?

"I'd like that, thanks." I slowly open the bathroom door and peak out. There he is just standing there. He looks like he's been crying a lot too. 

We stand there in silence until he asks, "Do you wanna go somewhere? I think it might be good to get out of this place for a while." 

3rd person pov

"WOOHOO," Deku shouts as the roller coaster gains speed. Kiri had recommended going somewhere where they wouldn't be able to think a lot if that makes sense, and they'd ended up at a nearby theme park. 

"Woah," Kirishima exclaims feeling nauseous. 

"COME ON KIRI LET GO!"

"I don't think I can-" Deku grabs his hand and raises it above their heads and suddenly Kiri feels free. The roller coaster goes downhill and he yells in delight. 

Let go

568 words

A/N

Hello readers! I just wanted you all to know that that if you feel alone, you're not. I know what it is like to struggle with personal things, mental heath problems and the stuff baby broccoli is going through. I'm always here if anyone needs to talk/rant to me about anything at all! Feel free to rant in the comment section also if you'd like. Just know that I love you and it will get better. You are amazing and you deserve to be here, I'm so proud of you for getting this far. Keep pushing luv, you're doing great <3