HOLD ON

Please don't leave me

Felix went straight to the bathroom in their bedroom, locking the door behind him. He slid down, leaning on it as he hugged his legs.

His insecurities got ahead of him, leading him to yet another argument. He didn't even let Chan explain himself, shouting everything that bothered him. Every little argument they had added to the weight on his heart, and he found nothing positive in his life, instead finding himself pitiful.

That's right ... he's eventually going to find another person, better than you. Someone like that is quite easy to find you know? Why are you even trying anymore? What's there to look forward to? You have no one else beside Chan. Pathetic. Just leave. You're a nuisance to everyone. They're just being pitiful and not saying anything. But you know they say everything behind your back. Everyone hates you. So do you.

Everyone's disgusted by. You have nothing to love.

Leave

Leave

Leave

Leave

Leave

Leave
Leave

Leave.

He shook his head and he screamed. Nothing made these voices leave his head, no matter what. He saw the world with eyes that saw nothing but deceit, hopelessness, insecurities caused by hatred.

He believed everything those voices in his head told him, not a single word a lie to him. He knew he was being a bother what with Jisung and Minho planning their wedding and him being free, spamming their group chats, he knew he was nothing but a leech to them. He knew, he was a nuisance to them, to everyone.

Every mistake he made stuck with him, no matter the assurances he got. Every little thing he did brought him down, anything he did not good enough.

Useless.

Slowly he stood up, making his way to the cabinet. A normal cabinet to others, but to him, it was the cabinet of his doom.

He opened the doors, taking out almost all the pills with shaky hands. He looked at himself in the mirror. With a mind clouded with thoughts, all he saw was a coward, a useless mistake.

Even his tears deserted him, and his nose stung. He went out to the bedroom, writing a letter. His last letter.

He managed to pour his heart out, nothing a lie anymore, there was nothing to lie for anymore. He was scheduled to be gone.

He left the paper there, and went back in the bathroom to finally finish his suffering.

3am. Chan was still awake. His eyes were puffy because of all the crying he did. His throat stung.

He clutched to his pillow, hugging it as tight as he could.

He turned and shifted, trying his best to rest. Felix kept appearing in his mind, denying him sleep.

All the times they spent, together. The fun times they had, where had it all gone? "No... it's not gone. I won't let it"

With a firm resolve to make things clear this time, he went to the bedroom. Standing in front of it, he breathed out.

His heart beat raced, but he refused to back down this time.

knock knock

No answers. He assumed Felix was asleep, so he started turning back.