My Story.

I'm getting worse

I've been getting sicker, it hurts to move like someone is grinding my still attached organs in a meat grinder. With pain I sleep with sleep I dream bad things... Here's an example:
I sat alone in an unknown asylum staring at the stitches they had sewn the gashes together with.
"H-How did I get these?" I whisper to myself
"You were attacked." I heard a female voice loudly speaking through a system of speakers.
"A-Attacked? By what?" I shockingly asked.
No one replied. No one at all, I felt as if no one could hear me anymore but yet I felt a presence, as if I was being watched. Little did I know... I was.
I crawled up into a ball hugging my knees. Then I see it.. Eyes of blood red, claws with flesh freshly ripped from someone's body, it had 3 eyes, pale skin almost like a white. It stared at me then charged. I closed my eyes just as he almost got to me, but when I opened my eyes all I saw was my dad in a corner high with a pistol beside him. I looked at him.
"Dad? Dad what are you doing."
He picked the gun up with a strong grip.
"Dad! N-"
With one sudden move I saw blood spatter against the wall. A bullet hole in his head. I began crying and closed my eyes again when I opened this time triston was there. The first guy I ever loved, holding a pistol at heart and fired.. I closed again breathing hard. As I opened I saw my mother laying in the hospital bed.
"Michal is here." She said
Michal was my fathers name.
She soon took her last breath and I noticed these were all play backs of major events that have happened but I missed. My mom, dads, the and boyfriends deaths.. The monster from the beginning was my depression and the cuts were from how much my depression is eating at me..
I woke up screaming with this dream.
When I get up I look at myself in the mirror just looking at how wrong I feel. "Girl,she,her,she's,female." I had no idea why these words got into my brain..
But I figured it out,
After a shit ton of research I discovered "Transgender." And I read everything I could on it to be sure but I looked at myself in the mirror pictured me as a male and realized "this feels right. I smiled and told my sister,cousins, Chris, and grandma...
Tbc