I "Had" A Crush On You

THE LAST CHAPTER

I wouldn't bore you with the details anymore. But to everyone who already knows how the story goes, here's how it ends.

It's been five years already. Every memory, very emotion intact, yet not another moment is same anymore. Each memory that Mia found solace in was now just another dream waiting to end in nightmares. Every breath she took started becoming more and more painful for her.

While the world moved on, even her world moved on but somehow it left her behind. Everytime something was hard to bear, she would tell herself, "it's okay, I am okay. I am a survivor. I will survive this." Or every time she couldn't find herself sane, she would close her eyes and pray, "all in good time."

This life wasn't easy on Mia but she somehow still held on. She always could find a solution to everything. But who was she kidding. There was no hope for her. She kept applying bandages to her gunwounds and now she was infected.

She now broke everything she touched, because she was broken too. She was damaged, she knew. But never in her wildest dreams did she imagine that any of this could happen or that she could be broken any further. And now she was. He broke her. The guy she never even thought about just five years ago, now became so vital that he had the power to do that to her. He wasn't wrong. You must know it is not his fault, for he only looked out for himself. That is, after all, the natural order of things.

So naturally, he had to erase her from everything. He loved her very much. But like said before, she breaks everything she touches. He needed to move on. He wanted her to move on as well. But it was easier said than done.

How do you forget the feeling when each and every moment is engraved in your memory, when you remember it as though it all just happened yesterday. But she never told anyone that. All her friends, old and new, only knew that she was alright. She was coping and it didn't hurt her. I mean, most things don't. However, her happy place was gone. Her safe place, shattered to bits.

She still put on a facade, joked around as though nothing was lost to her. But all in her lonesome, she could do little about the nightmares in her head. "What is your response when each and every voice around you keeps asking terrible things of you. They ask you to kill yourself? You ignore them? Once, twice, how many times?" She asks her readers.

She tried too. She tried so hard. I m proud of her for that. But she knew that it was useless now. She couldn't be helped. Nothing would get better. She hated lies and liars yet she was only lying when she thought, 'in time'.

She knew what she needed to do. She couldn't be attached anymore. "Five- a whole number, not a day more" she said to herself. She was scared now that the moment was here.

She went into the kitchen of her new home, not to cook anything as of this time, she took the knife and started cutting into her own flesh. Cuts everywhere. She wasn't trying to kill herself, not yet. She was hoping the pain would go away. That if she bled enough, she would not feel the pain and suffering inside her. She she went on. If only it were that easy.

Shockingly enough, she didn't feel a thing. "Why is it not stinging?" It is supposed to. Yet she carried so much on her shoulders it was impossible to. She sat there in silence.

One hour turned to two. Her eyes were dry now. Dried blood all about. She texted her friends. They were so important to her. She told them she was good, and that she hoped things would always be the same.

Her heart felt heavier. "If only it were true."

She texted him. "I know things have been hard, but you will be better, not now maybe but eventually. Remember it wasn't your fault. I know this was the last thing you would want of me. But it is vital, for the both of us. For the both of us. I hope you forgive me. No, you couldn't have talked me out of it. Now, now don't forget what we talked about yesterday. No tears. Just a smile and a healthy lifestyle. Be human, it's important. It was a nice feeling. I will always be that crazy wench whose first reply was 'oye' to a stranger. I know what i want my last words to be but I know you do not want to hear me say it. So, Goodbye loverboy."

She smiled at her phone. "Loverboy." After taking a moment she tied her hair with a scrunchie and locked herself into the washroom. She looked at the water falling drop by drop. "You want me erased, consider it done..." She sighed and settled down in front of the bucket brimming with water, the tap still leaking while she dipped her head in...

To all my lovely readers, the end. Maybe not the one you were hoping for, but then again, if we cease to believe in love, why do we exist?