Stephanie's Trial

Breaking my back

The days fell into a seamless, unrelenting pattern from the moment I woke up the next day, with the sky just starting to grow light in the east. First, we went downstairs to the dining hall for breakfast, but as per Simon's orders, we weren't even allowed to look at each other. How any of us could avoid this was beyond me, but somehow, the compulsion to focus on the space in front of us, or on our breakfast, was strong enough that we were able to manage it. And my heart broke. 

After breakfast, we began our tasks. And there were plenty of them. From scrubbing the floors to cleaning the bathrooms and gutters, from replacing the wallpaper to fixing the wiring, and many other back-breaking tasks, we had no time for leisure, idle thoughts, or anything that might bring Simon's wrath on us. Even when we didn't sense his iron-clad control driving our every movement, we kept on working. No one wanted to come in for his promised cruelties should we fail.

Several gruelling hours later, we were called back to the dining hall for lunch. Then it was straight back to work, until the sun was a molten ball of gold in the sky, at which point we were called back to dinner. Then we worked again until nightfall, and oftentimes it wasn't until midnight before we were permitted to go to bed. 

The days blended into weeks, until it was impossible to tell one day from another. Endless hours were spent weeding and tidying up the front garden, and the overgrown pastures also came in for some heavy maintenance, as well as mending the broken fences. Simon, as per his word, made sure we had everything we needed to complete these and other heavy-duty maintenance tasks, and he made it very clear early on that, once we got our instructions, we were to get to them immediately and not waste time asking what he called "stupid questions". Robert had been the first - and only one - to ask a question to clarify one of Simon's orders, and his screams still rang in my ears days later, haunting my dreams at night and ensuring I got next to no sleep for several nights to come after that. 

Of course, the burning question on everyone's mind was what would happen at the end of the month. We had no idea if we'd be reunited with our wolves, and no one dared ask Simon. In fact, just the thought of that far-off day gave me headaches whenever I let the thought cross my mind, and after a few days, I decided my best bet was to stop wondering. I missed Kira immensenly, though; losing my link to her had almost torn my soul in two. 

A wolf and their human were inseperable. Cutting off the connection as violently as Simon had done all those weeks ago was an unbearably painful experience, quite aside from the obvious side-effects of losing all the supernatural abilites we got from our wolves. A werewolf without their wolf was just a human, and so we'd been treated for almost two months now. Even when I'd been in the coveted position of Gamma, I'd still been treated as a lesser creature, and it had gotten worse when I'd been demoted to omega. And I hated that feeling. 

Not to mention Simon's prejudice towards my father's side of the family. And his hatred of Dorothy for being a half-breed. That carried a layer of shame and pain which went beyond the didsain he carried for all of us. He hated me personally because I was a half-breed in his eyes, and I had been the stepdaughter of a half-breed. In his eyes, I was scum. 

But as the days dragged on, I felt his eyes on me more than once, and his mind would often skitter against mine. It didn't feel nice at all. In fact, to me, it felt like unwanted contact, and I soon grew to dread those touches. I knew he wanted me for his own. He never said it, but whenever I spied him looking at me, I could see the lust in his eyes. And since I was unmated - unusual for a female of my age, but not uncommon, and certainly not something to be despised - I was in even more danger. Without the protection of a mate, I was fair game, and once I was claimed by a male, I was off-limits to my real mate,  whoever that happened to be. 

And I didn't want to fall into that trap. If Simon mated with me, not only was I off-limits, but I would end up with cub. And cubs could not be aborted if conceived by rape, thanks in part to the male's dominance over the female at the time of their mating. Any female who tried to abort a cub by rape died messily, but if they were unfortunate enough to survive, nine times out of ten they were severely punished and forced to conceive again. Sometimes the male would even compel the female to bear their cub, or cubs to term, thus ensuring they would make it into the world. 

No way was I bearing cubs to the brute who had hated my stepmother so much he'd gone to war with her mate's pack to get back at her for abandoning her birth pack. 

But as the days dragged on, and the end of the month approached, I had a nasty feeling I'd have next to no choice in the matter. Simon wouldn't care if it was incest of a sort, nor would he care the damage it would do to me. If he wanted me, he was going to take me. 

And right then, as I watched the days grow shorted, I felt as if I had no way out.