This Love

10

Whenever he breathed, he felt like his body was on fire.

He was sweating all over, and he was somewhere dark. He was lost and he didn't know how to find his way back.

His body shot up the bed. Ben was sweating for real, even if the dream was just that: a dream.

Beside him was Miranda, her eyes open wide and concerned. Her hand touched his shoulder and he calmed down, feeling her cold hand touch his warm skin.

Ben's eyes landed on the clock. It was 4 AM. He cursed under his breath.

It's been three days in Miranda's house and he still couldn't get rid of these nightmares, of these desires for a fix.

He'd been talking to Miranda, trying to be more open with what he feels, and it's sort of working. She could tell now when he needed space, or when he needed a distraction.

He's been sober for almost two weeks now, so he's kind of excited that he's getting better.

But they both knew it was just the start.

"What's wrong? Do you need some water?" Her hand slid down his arm and she squeezed his hand.

Ben took a few seconds to respond. "Nightmare."

Miranda nodded. "I figured. Let's get you some water, okay?"

She didn't wait for him to respond and she got out of bed.

He was frozen. He didn't know he'd ever be like this. He wanted out.

Miranda came back with a full glass of water. "Here."

Ben took it gratefully. He was glad Miranda was there with him. He couldn't have done any of this progress without her pushing him to do better.

"Thank you." He meant it more than the water, but she nodded as if it was nothing. "No, thank you. For everything."

She smiled. "It's nothing. I love you."

"I love you."

They sat in silence for a couple of minutes, and Ben thought she had fallen asleep.

"Miranda?" He whispered in the dark, and he was glad when she responded.

"Ben?"

"I think… I think I should go to rehab. I don't want to go back." That Voice was telling him again that he wanted drugs and it was a part of him. He ignored it, even as his pulse increased.

Miranda smiled. "Okay. Okay." She nodded, tears dripping down the side of her cheeks. She pulled him close and kissed him.

"Okay?" He asked after they pulled away.

"Yes." She laughed. "And thank God because I don't know what I'd do if you did that again."

"I don't want to ruin you, or myself, and I love Tuck, and I love you, and I want a family. I can't do that when I'm high."

Miranda smiled. "I love you too, I love you so much."

×+×+×+×

Twenty-eight excruciating days and he was back. It was over, and even though all those days hadn't been easier for Ben (or Miranda), it was all worth it.

In fact, when Miranda's car pulled up at the facility the day of Ben's graduation, he was so goddamn happy. He rushed forward and before she knew it, she was up in the air.

"Oh!" She laughed as he twirled her in the air. Her hands grasped his shoulders as he brought her down into a passionate kiss.

She smiled against his lips. She missed him so much. "Hi," she breathed out when they pulled away.

"Hey," he whispered back. His forehead moved to hers, and they smiled at each other. "God, I missed you so much."

"Me too." She pulled him in for a few pecks on the lips. "Lemme see your 30-day chip."

She squealed in excitement as he pulled it out of his bag. "I'm so proud of you, baby!"

He grinned widely. She was so adorable. "Me too, babe."

Miranda's eyes brightened. "Tuck missed you so much too."

"Oh, right, my dude. How is he? Is he older?" He joked.

She rolled her eyes. "You saw him a month ago, don't overreact. He misses you so much."

Ben suddenly looked nervous. He scratched the back of his head. "Uh, what'd you, uh, tell him?"

"I told him you were fine, you were just sick and you're getting treatment."

He nodded. "I'm so excited to see him."

Miranda smiled. "I'm sure he will too. I didn't tell him you were coming today."

Ben grinned. "A surprise, then?"

She hummed. "Yep."

"Well, let's not keep my dude waiting."

×+×+×+×

"Ben!" Tuck ran to him and jumped up, making him stumble back a little.

"William George!" Miranda came from behind him and frowned at her son. "Be careful."

Ben shook his head. "It's fine, Miranda." He put the boy back down. "Hey, buddy!"

"Hi!" He was enthusiastic and smiling wide. "I missed you, Ben!"

"Me too, little guy, me too." He hugged the boy again, tight. This was his family. His family with Miranda.

Ben looked up at the woman in question. Her eyes were a little teary, but the adoration and love showed through.

His heart felt full and he didn't know what he would've done without Miranda.

As Tuck ran his mouth, talking about school and everything he'd missed, he made a promise to himself.

He vowed never to fuck up again. And as he looked at Miranda's eyes, he promised he was never letting her go.

THE END.