MAFIA TIES

1.GOODBYE AND HELLO

KHANA

I stare at my reflection on the mirror as I fix my box braids while trying to stop the tears streaming on my cheeks. I've been trying to stop myself from crying since I got out the bathtub but the harder I try the more determined my tears are to flood my cheeks.

I shouldn't be doing this, this shouldn't be happening, it's not right. It feels like a nightmare that I can't seem to wake from. The past six days have felt like I'm having an out of body experience, I'm just going through the motions but nothing is really registering in my heart

My heart just won't accept that she's really gone...no, it must just be a bad dream

My eyes are puffy and red and no amount of makeup can hide my grief stricken face. I walk to the bathroom again and wet my face cloth with warm water and use it to wipe my face. This time I manage to really stop crying after taking a couple more deep breaths.

I go back to my room and put on my coat while taking deep breaths still. Never in a million years did I think I'd be preparing to speak at my friend's funeral. This is wrong, so wrong.

Alessia was so young, twenty years old just like me and a bright future ahead. We met the previous year at  the campus. We shared a table at the library and she started a conversation that got us a warning for making noise so we decided to leave and from that day we were inseparable

She was a bubbly person, full of life and a sharp tongue to always get herself out of sticky situations. Alessia was what I like to call a free spirit. She used to tell me that I should cherish each day as it comes because tomorrow just isn't guaranteed. One might even think she knew she was going to depart from earth at a young age, and that is why whenever she did something, she have it her all. She studied hard and she partied hard
She loved hard too, everyone who was ever close to her will advocate that Alessia was a very affectionate person, full of warmth

Was.. Not is...

It's going to be very hard having to refer to her in past tense

One thing she wasn't open about is her family. I know she had three big brothers and she was the only girl but she hardly ever spoke about them, only that they are too overprotective and that as much as they are annoying she still loves them. Her parents stay in Italy and she moved out of the family home here in Cape Town to go stay at the student residence because she wanted a bit of freedom.

I can't believe today is the first day I'm going to meet the rest of her family after knowing her for over a year, although it feels like we've been friends forever. Which is what's making this even harder. I don't know how I'm going to manage to stand infront of people and confidently talk about Alessia, It's just hard and I'm scared I'm going to do somethinf to ruin her send off... I'm scared the words won't come out and what scares me even more is that I'll be surrounded by people I don't know except a few friends from campus, if they will make it.

After making sure I look okay I make my way out of my room and find my roommate and friend Audrey getting ready for work

"Are you sure you'll be okay? I can always lie and say I'm sick at work" she offers but I shake my head because I know how important it is that she keeps this job

"It's okay, I'll be fine" I lie. It will probably be the longest day of my life but that's not the scariest part. The scariest part will be having to leave the cemetery, leaving Alessia there, knowing she's not coming back... That's what's breaking me.

"Are you sure?" she puts her hands on my arms and I have to fight the tears away

"Yea, one of her brothers is coming to get me. I should be okay" I reassure her and she hugs me tightly for a while