MAFIA TIES

2. DANTE ACCARDI

KHANA

I immediately unlock the door and open it and the sight of Dante takes me aback. He looks like he's about to have a break down so I quickly lead him inside, there's no need to ask if he's okay. Obviously he's not, I just wasn't expecting him to come back

I think of letting him sit on the couch but I remember that Audrey might come out of her room and I don't want him to feel awkward or uncomfortable and I know it'll raise questions

"Follow me" I say after locking the door again and as soon as we are in my room I close the door and switch on my heater, I put two pillows on the floor and we both sit down quietly taking in the warmth that's coming from the heater

"Did I wake you?" he asks while looking at my messy bed

"No, I've been up for some hours now" I explain and he nods

We sit in complete silence. I'd like to think that he came here to talk but I dont want to push. Dante is an intimidating man, he may have been soft with me earlier but there's just something about him and the way he carries himself that makes me question what I want to say to him and how he will recieve it so I keep quiet. Maybe he just needed somewhere to go and I did offer after all

"I messed up" he begins then he gulps, the pain is evident on his face "I should have protected her"

"There was no way you could protect her from what happened, it can't be your fault" I say but he shakes his head

"Alessia was my responsibility. I failed her. I failed our parents too... No parents should have to bury their child like mine did today" his tears finally make their way out but I don't think he even realises that he's crying

"Dante, none of us could have seen this coming... It's really not your fault" what do you say to someone whose hurting like this?

"Then why does it feel like it is?" he puts his hands on his face

"because you're in pain, you just buried your little sister... I'm so sorry" I put my arm around him just as he did earlier. It's my turn to comfort him now, to push down my own pain and do my best to comfort him. He really shouldn't be blaming himself for the accident, no one knew it was going to happen. No one ever knows.

"It just fucking hurts, everything hurts and I feel like I can't breathe, I feel like I'm in a bad dream but nobody is waking me up you know? " He covers his face with his palms again and I truly understand what he means

"I know hey, we can only hope it will get better with time" I say hopelessly, how does one move on from this? Is it even possible

We sit in silence for a while and he silently cries while I gently rub his back hoping it soothes him a bit. He was so emotionless the entire day it may have been mistaken for strength but he was hurting just like the rest of us. He just wanted to remain strong for his family and now it's his time to grieve, to cry for his little sister and I'm glad his doing it, he's letting it sink in than pretending to be okay

"Do you have something strong to drink?" He asks and I get up and go to the kitchen

I open the fridge and take out a bottle of Jagermeister and a six pack of beers because I don't really know what his definition of something strong is. I take out two normal glasses because we don't have shots glasses then I go back to my bedroom

"This is what I have" I raise both items on my hands

"The bottle will do" he says and I give him the Jagermeister and glasses. He pours for the both of us and we start drinking. We drink in silence while pouring our emotions into the liquid that we are gulping down and at some point  after a couple of immeasured shots and a couple of flying fish beers we end up cuddling