One Hour More || Falsettos

Part 5

Jason managed to avoid having to talk anymore about the fight with either of his parents, so he was pretty content for the next few days. 

He was sitting in his room bored and reading a comic book when Mendel knocked on the door. "Come in," Jason called, and so he did. 

"Hey, Jason," said Mendel, leaning against the door frame. "How's it going? You've been pretty quiet the last couple days." 

Jason shrugged. "I don't know. Nothing's really going on." 

"Have you been getting along with your classmates?" 

He rolled his eyes. "Yes, I've been getting along with my classmates. You don't have to keep asking me that. I just wish they did something to punish Connor. It's not fair." 

"What's not fair?" 

"What he said. He shouldn't be allowed to say things like that." Jason casually went back to his book, but inside he was feeling more and more uneasy. 

Mendel frowned. "What is it, exactly, that he said?" 

"Uh, nothing. He was just bothering me." 

"Jason, if he was just bothering you, you probably wouldn't have lashed out the way you did." He walked over and sat in Jason's desk chair. "Was it something personal?" 

"No. I don't want to talk to you about it." The only person Jason had explicitly told was Whizzer, and he was still only 99% sure the whole angel thing was real. 

Mendel sighed, "Look, kid, I can't help you if you won't talk to me. And I don't have to tell your mom what happened, but if you're comfortable, I want to know." 

"He made fun of Whizzer. That's it. I don't even know why I punched him." Jason looked away. 

His stepfather blinked, then started to stand up, then sat back down. "Oh," he answered. "Oh, Jason. I'm sorry." 

What did he have to be sorry about? It wasn't his fault Whizzer was gone. Except he wasn't gone, not completely. But it hurt Jason's brain to think about it like that, so he just shrugged. 

"Come with me," Mendel told him, standing up again. 

Jason looked at him in confusion. "Where are we going?" 

"I'm taking you for a drive, okay?" 

"You're not going to make me apologize to Connor," Jason said, backing up against the wall. 

"No, I'm not going to do that. Just come on." 

In the car, they were both quiet. Jason had no idea where they were headed, or why Mendel was suddenly so silent. Slowly, a familiar place loomed into view, and Jason realized where they were going. 

"No, no, no," he muttered as they pulled into the cemetery's parking lot. "I don't... I don't want to go here." 

"Jason. Jason!" Mendel placed a firm hand on the boy's shoulder. "I strongly suggest you come with me, okay? We haven't even been here since the funeral." 

"That's how I want to keep it." 

Mendel shook his head and got out of the car. "The first step to healing is exposure. When you get hurt, what's the best thing to do with the wound?" 

"Leave it to fester," replied Jason. 

"No. Well— no. Not exactly— what I'm saying is, a wound won't heal unless you give it some air, and you won't heal inside unless you can face the problem." 

Reluctantly, Jason also got out. "That's not even the same thing at all." 

"Come on, kid, I'm trying here. At least humor me." 

"Does my mom know you took me to the cemetery?" asked Jason, crossing his arms. 

"That doesn't matter." Mendel started toward the entrance, then looked back. "Please come inside." 

Jason shook his head. "I'm not going back there." But would it really be as hard to face Whizzer's death again now that he knew they could talk whenever he wanted? It was different, of course. Whizzer was different. Jason knew he would never be the same again. But it was better than nothing, and Jason felt a little better about going in, so he followed Mendel. 

When they got near Whizzer's grave, Jason stopped. He didn't want to go any closer. In fact, now that he knew ghosts existed, he was hesitant to walk around any of the graves. What if one of them was just lurking around, unseen by the living? What if Whizzer was at that very moment? 

"This," Mendel was saying, "is the first step to healing. Okay? So anything you want to say to Whizzer, say it now." 

Oh, if only he knew. Jason smiled a bit to himself. 

"Jason?" 

"All right, all right," Jason muttered. "Um, Whizzer. I really miss you." That was true. But he had said that to ghost-Whizzer too many times to count. The actual Whizzer, who could see and hear him. In spite of the situation, he started laughing. He wasn't sure if it was actually funny or if this was just his uncomfortable response, but he couldn't stop. 

Mendel just stared at him. "Jason, you okay?" 

"I'm fine," Jason's voice quivered as he tried to stop laughing. "You know what, I'm done. Let's just go." 

As they walked back through the cemetery, a million thoughts were crowding Mendel's head. Why was Jason reacting so weirdly? This hadn't been the case at the funeral, or in the weeks following. Maybe this was some sort of coping mechanism, but Mendel still didn't quite understand. 

On the ride back, Jason said nothing out of fear that he would accidentally start either laughing or crying. Sure, the whole thing where Mendel had no idea that he'd actually been talking to Whizzer for the past week or so was kind of funny, but the situation in general was far from. Jason just wanted to go to bed. 

When they got home, it was late— not quite bedtime, but late enough for Mendel to allow Jason to head to his room for the night. 

"What the fuck is going on inside my head?" Jason asked himself, laughing a little as he walked up the stairs. He entered his room, expecting Whizzer to be there, but he wasn't. Suddenly Jason didn't feel like laughing after all.