So This is Life?

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Have you felt being controlled by your whole life?

Not with your parents but, with the flow of life.

Where you feel like a puppet on your own life.

That whatever it tells, you will follow.

That whatever you do, you should consider it.

To be honest, it sucks.

It sucks doing things according to the order of life.

I want to do things on my own

I want to discover the world with me

I want to do things without others having bad opinion about it.

I badly want...

But, I cant...

Because I'm tied of my responsibilities that life dictate to  me.

I'm here at school.Listening to my teacher's lectures.I am a consistent top one since I was a grade one.An awardee and an achiever for everyone.They might think Im a good daughter.Well, that's how life works.If you are good at school you're a good children to your parents.But, honestly it's not—Im not.

Why do I need to be succesful on their eyes?I'm not pressured vocally by my parents but I know they are hoping.Para maahon sila sa hirap.

This is what Im thinking.Why do I need to suffer from the frustration of being poor.

My teacher asked a question and among every one I'm the only one who raise my hands to answer.

"In times of Ferdinand Marcos one dollar is equal to  two pesos," I confidently answered the question.Just what I have expected she greeted me for being the only one who answered the question.I smiled at her but when I seat on my chair my smile immediately turn into serious one.Having medals?Having awards?Having certificates?Hearing their greetings?I'm not happy.It's not that I'm not grateful.I worked for it so I'm happy.But that happiness is not enough to fullfill my heart.Their appraisal is not enough to have my heart melted.I want something that I didn't know.

To be honest most of us studying for our parents.To have a better future and to get rid of rags.I'm thinking of that.Just like others Im worried of my future.Why not?

Being drop out in school is a disgrace for everyone.

Being not able to college is a failure for everyone.

Why do I need to study highschool and college if I can live with knowing the basics of english and math?

Why do I need to study for so many years, get employed if in the end we'll just serving the same company.

That in the end we'll still follow them.

Have you ever think that in our whole life we are a robot.We follow what they say.

When we are a child, we follow what our parent tells us.

When we are in school we follow our teacher's instruction.

When we are outside, we follow the rules.

When we are in work we follow our boss.

When we want to be us, we follow the society.

See?The only constant in our life is following.

I turned my eyes to all my classmates.I observe them.Some of them are laughing, listening, reading, sleeping, talking and mocking our teachers while discussing but just like me, they are worried of their future.That just like me, they want to please the world.