Leaning Into BDSM

Chapter 1

This book is dedicated to jack, someone who I respect for your time on reading my novels and giving honest views and opinions :)

From a very early age, the thought of having a dominant man in my life sent chills down my back all whist making my mouth water.

I remember, when I was about 12 years of age, taking a hair band and twisting it around my wrists and pulling my restrained hands to the head of the bed. Something inside of me felt so good but, I didn't understand why. I kept telling myself that I had something wrong with me. It only hit me aged 16 what my fantasies were based upon.

July 2012. I had finished school, lost alot friends and felt the need to clear my head and search deeper to why I was into 'dominant men' and some kind of abuse towards me. I vividly imagine the days that month, when I would lounge around on the back couch watching film after film about domestic abuse and wondering to myself.. Why did she leave him? Why didn't she continue to please him? and the questions made me feel worse about my beliefs.

I had detatched myself from a relationship that month, a guy name Austin. I used him to get experience, but I never really got that far because deep inside I knew I never felt fully satisfied. Everytime we did stuff, my mind turned it around into him doing this to me without my consent. I didn't understand that either but it made me feel pleasure just thinking that.

After weeks of pulling back in my bubbly and bitchy personality, I turned bisexual. I thought it seemed the right way to go. It also made me feel closer to finallising my true self so, to my liking of women I began researching it on the internet.

First, I typed 'hot girls' and soon I grew more adrenaline that I would end up looking up 'naked women'. Making that decision turned my life around in ways I never thought could.

I can make out that I pressed the top link on the google search engine and I quickly enter a site covered in women with hourglass figures, all shiny flawless. In a way, I felt a small amount of pleasure from gazing into the wild positions they posed in but, the intensity I had been longing for was down at the bottom of the screen within a long list of links for types of sex one may enjoy scrambling through.

'Watch helpless women be tied and fucked hard.' was scribed on the blue link and I was intrigued to what could be beyond this. I then turned off the screen and left it for when I had a burst of courage to look beneath it..