Leaning Into BDSM

Chapter 5

I was able to write my perfect style of book eventually. I actually updated on my page over christmas. Yeah, there is more to a two weeks of eating rich foods aswell as opening present you knew what was already to be found.

My story gave me inspiration from a book I received called 'A Secret Life Of A Submissive' I've gotta say. It was beautifully written and made me feel less alone about being into kinky stuff. I originally thought that a submissive was the same as a masochist but .. noo.. its not. Thanks again Google.

You see. A submissive is somebody who is willing to go to a certain limit of letting a master do what they want just to please them. Submission is another word for obedience. So, when I skimmed through fact files online about the difference and definitons. I felt relief and slightly stupid for not knowing the difference.

The one thing I hated the most about this choice of lifestyle is that.. I was scared of alot of stuff. I guess I had the exuse of not having any experience but plenty of knowledge about bondage but, it shocked my brain when I came face to face with a few things. 1. Dominant men. I felt very intimidated by them. 2. Specific toys they used, freaked the shit out of me and 3. Submissive men. Erghh. Just.. why.

So, I tried curing these fears...

I logged onto a free webcam dating site. I soon began searching for someone who agreed with the idea of bdsm, and was pleased that a picture appeared. But, I was frightened so much from the overwhelming questions they kept asking like 'What are your limits?' - how the fuck was I supposed to know!

Then I would laugh and smile and quietly disable them to skip onto another dom. It became more easy to talk to them because, I could make stuff up or find out what other submissives would have answered.

mwhahaha! <-- evil laugh.

So, I cured my dreaded questions with 'I don't like stuff to do with blood and urine etc.' and then I would tell them I like anything so long as 'I was helpless and handcuffs were included.' It was kind of fun once I got used to it and I became so good and hyper after numerous conversation that I became slightly cheeky to other dom's they got very angered about it. All I can say it.. YOLO. (you only live once)..