CHASING AFTER YOU (complete)

Chapter 4

That night, both men slept cuddling each other closely. They had talked for so long that neither of them were in the mood for sex. As Yibo placed his head on Zhan's chest, recalled an incident that happened a little over a year ago.

He met a man, Zhao Yang at the bar, just like he met Xiao Zhan. Yibo had just started working at the bar, he still wasn't used to the nature of the job. This person was his first, that was probably the reason Yibo felt sentimentally attached to him. Yibo soon became his favourite.

Sensing Yibo's attachment to him, Zhao Yang asked that they took their relationship to another level. He wanted them to become lovers. Yibo wasn't sure he was in love with him but he liked the sense of security and stability he felt being with Zhao Yang. Dating Zhao Yang meant he could no longer work as a waiter in the VIP section. He asked Yibo to move in with him to enable him save more. Yibo was more than happy as he could afford to meet his monthly target given to him by the loan sharks. Their relationship was rosy for a short while even though it was centered around sex.

Barely 2 months after they defined their relationship, Zhao Yang resumed going back to the bar and kept sleeping with other waiters in the VIP section. Yibo tried to talk to him, they agreed to be exclusive, why did he still go to other men? Zhao Yang showed no remorse, telling Yibo to face his job. It turned into an argument and he called Yibo all sorts of unspeakable names, making him feel less human. Yes, he got paid in exchange for sex but... Zhao Yang was his first, and till their eventual separation, Zhao Yang was the only person he had been with.

Yibo was not stupid. He was still young but he had been exposed to the cruelty of the world. His father died when he was a baby, his mother took care of him till he was 15, she fell sick and was in and out of the hospital for close to a year. At this time, Yibo had to take care of himself and his mother. Their savings ran out and he had to borrow money for her treatment. Her health got better and he thought things were finally turning better. He got home one day and found her dead in her bedroom. At 16, he was alone, shattered and afraid. He had just started schooling and working part time at a departmental store to help with the bills. He had no one to turn to.

Soon the loan sharks came. There wasn't much they could do to him seeing how distraught he was but he had to pay back somehow. He was introduced to the manager of the bar, he lied about his age and got employed. He had to pay back a certain amount monthly for some years to free himself from the shackles of those he took money from.

Living with Zhao Yang indeed helped him save a little more but soon, the abuses came and he started getting maltreated. Yibo talked to the manager to return to the VIP section. The manager ordinarily would not agree but he had a soft spot for Yibo as he knew about his difficulties so he let him come back.

When Zhao Yang found Yibo back at the VIP section, he made a scene. Called Yibo all sorts of names and brought out their secret matters to the open. Everyone that day came to watch a show and Yibo was utterly embarrassed. He silently took it all, he knew his relationship was over but he didn't mind. He had a target to meet. Upon arriving at the apartment he shared with Zhao Yang that night, he found his belongings scattered outside. Zhao Yang had thrown him out. He stayed at the bar for a few days till he could afford to get a place. For the first time, he had to accept other clients. Some, having witnessed his fall out with his ex, gave some outrageous proposals, all of which he turned down. This experience reshaped how Yibo viewed people in general.

Meeting Xiao Zhan, Yibo was tempted to give him a chance but he didn't want to make those mistakes again. He didn't want to get overly comfortable being taken care of. He wanted to depend totally on himself. If he could pay off his loans, he could be a bit more lenient on himself but as it stands, he had 3 more years until his loan would be paid off completely. He had no way of asking Zhan to wait. Was it possible for Xiao Zhan to wait for him for 3 whole years while he went warming the bed of others? That was totally unfair. If Zhan was ready to reserve him for the next three years, so be it but he was never going ask him to go through so much trouble. Deep down, he hoped Zhan would not give up on him so easily.