The Genderbending Of Haruhi Suzumiya

Chapter 2 -- I Hate Wednesdays... (part1)

My eyes creek open. My vision is still obscured from a mass something blocking my face. What is it? Hair? I probably should have noticed something was up right then and there. My brain, however, was still pretty much totally asleep. But the small portion of my conscious mind that was active drove me to shuffle my way out the door to my bedroom.

"Water..." my thoughts uttered. The idea repeated itself over and over again like a broken record.

One of the only things I hate about summer is how it causes your mouth to dry up even when you sleep. My mouth was so dehydrated you could have used my tongue to sand down a two by four.

My feet slowly crept their way down the stairs as not to wake the rest of my family since it was still at least an hour before dawn. I felt as if the objects around me were taller then usual, but the desire to quench the unbelievable thirst I was suffering from pushed the realization aside and I continued onwards.

Groggily, I stumbled into the kitchen, poured myself a fresh glass of cold tap water, and chugged the whole thing in 5 seconds flat. My tongue no longer felt like a piece of sandpaper, but the on-track mindedness continued. My head went from focusing on quenching an extreme thirst, to relieving myself. So as gracefully as a half asleep zombie with a bladder on the verge of bursting could, I inched my way back up stairs towards the bathroom.

With a twist of the door handle, the door opened and i flicked the light switch on. Damn it. Who even made light bulbs so bright in the first place? As my eyes began to adjust to the burst of white that filled the room, they noticed a figure standing directly in front of me.

A girl. She stared me directly in the eyes. She had long, dark brown hair that could have easily surpassed her shoulders if it wasn't for the fact that it had been flopped in every direction imaginable. Her golden brown eyes were blood shot with a tired look that made her look like she was annoyed to be awake. Her short, thin body wasn't helped in the size department by the loose, deep red night gown she wore. "What the..." I heard her mutter in a highly pitched voice.

Wait. What? I swear my lips moved a second ago, but all I heard was the feminine tone of the stranger in front of me.

I reached my arm forward and she did the same. I touched my face, but she moved along with me. No matter how I move, she makes the same motion. Though it wasn't like she was mimicking me. Instead it seemed like she knew what I was doing before I did it. Every movement was in sync. Who ever this girl was, she ws really beginning to piss me off! It was at that moment I noticed the glare of light across her waste. That could mean only one thing. Mirror.

"No way...it can't...I...how...?" my lips trembled as the shock from my new voice kept me from finishing my sentences. A look down did all but assure me of the circumstances. Draped over my nimble body was the deep red night gown.

"Hell no..."

Not now. I don't care what the hell it was or how badly I needed to go, I'll piss myself for all I care! There is no way I was dealing with something like this so early in the morning. It was a dream that's all. A nightmare. I was hallucinating from sleep deprivation. Yeah. All I need was to crawl back in bed and get just one more hour of sleep. I slid under the covers and hid under my pillow.

There is no way something like this could happen. Not even Haruhi was capable of pulling something like this off right? She has the decency to at least let the day start before raining hell on it. Not even Haruhi was this cruel! To take me and make me...a girl... I was so shocked and discombobulated from what I had just witnessed I'm surprised my mind shut down long enough for sleep.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Kyonko! It's time   to    get        UP!" a voice shouted as it's owner pulled the covers off the bed, taking me down with them. Wait. "ko"?

I leapt from the floor and turned to face the culprit. I'd like to say it was my sweet little sister sitting on the floor and grinning at her work. And it was. Sort of.

"Morning!" the little boy smiled.

It wasn't a dream. I wished that it was but no matter what I desired, my nightmare was in fact reality! And the final nail in coffin was seeing my little sister...er uh..brother perform the normal "Wake up Kyon!" routine. She...or he grabbed Shamisen from the floor and laughed his way out my bedroom. "Mom says to get ready for school!"

School? How could I even think of school at a time like this. I wake up one morning to find my gender rewritten as female and everyone expects me to just carry on my merry way? Screw that! The last thing I needed was walking into the SOS Brigade club room and Haruhi seeing me like this. What would she do? Would she make me dress in the silly maid outfits she always forces on to Ms. Asahina? Or would she figure out something worse to torture me with?

I didn't have choice though. If I wanted to know what the hell was going on I'd have to confront Koizumi and the others. Where they switched too? I didn't even want to imagine what Ms. Asahina might look like! And Koizumi and that stupid smirk of his would have a freaking party at my expense I just know it!

Upon further inspection of my room, I discovered various things had been altered. My school uniform was now that of a girls, along with all my other clothes. A lot of personal belongings had been feminized as well. It was as if there had been a girl living in this room all along.

Getting the uniform on was a hassle. Being that I was a guy just hours earlier, I had no idea how to do things like put on a bra, a skirt, stockings....the list continues. The bathroom had various cosmetic items that I was also clueless on how to operate. So I just brushed the the hell out of the tangled up mess that was my hair and tied it back into a ponytail to get it out of the way. Woah. I may have been engulfed in embarrassment and anger, but I sure looked pretty good in a ponytail. I may be a bit of a ponytail man, but I never thought I'd say this about myself... I actually look pretty...cute.

I opened the door and the most fretful walk to school of the pitiful life had been forced to experience began. If my little sister had been affected by this strange concurrence, I'm sure others must have as well. As much as the thought of Ms. Asahina becoming a man grossed me out, I was even more disgusted to imagine what Taniguchi and Kunikida might look like. That pervert Taniguchi would be hard not to laugh at once I saw him. And on top of that, had Haruhi switched as well? If she was behind all of this, would she envision this crazy dimension with a male version of herself? The thought of a guy Suzumiya made me nervous. I could feel my face begin to burn. Am I blushing? Why the heck am I blushing!? It's just Haruhi. Haruhi is Haruhi no matter if she was a boy or a girl. She is still the same person right? So why did my heart begin to ramp up at the thought of it? Damn these female hormones! Less then 2 hours and I'm already going crazy because of them!

"It appears I wasn't the only one affected now doesn't it?" I heard a slightly flirtatious voice call from behind me. Somehow the sentence angered me upon hearing it. I turned and saw an amazingly beautiful girl. Wavy, light brown hair that barely reached her shoulders; long legs, curvy hips, and...dare I say it, an amazing bust! Upon seeing them I actually felt a little depressed. What the heck is wrong with me!

"They're quite large aren't they? I must say I'm not very accustomed to them yet." She responded. Hey! I didn't say anything!

"Oh I wasn't... I'm not jealous or anything I...uh..," what the hell am I saying?!

"Ha ha ha! I see you're taking to your new character well, Kyon."

Huh?

"Who are you?" I asked. Her smirk turned flipped to frown.

"I'm disappointed Kyon. We've been friends for more then a year now. At least I consider us as such."

Wait a minute. A speech pattern that annoys the hell out of, an uncanny ability to make anyone feel awkward, and a habit of avoid direct answers. It couldn't be...

"K-Koizumi?"

"You got it. Congratulations."