She wanted me to talk to someone for her during my show.
Mandy: I would ask you to get me Anthony's number so I can say hi myself so you're not doing it, but you wouldn't do that.
Me: I 100% wouldn't. You can get it when you come.
Mandy: I'm not sure I'm gonna make it.
Me: WHY THE HECK NOT
Mandy: I'm busy. Plus, you can't get mad at me since you missed mine.
Me: I HAD NO CHOICE, I WOULD HAVE GONE
May 24
Mandy: So you think Anthony is kinda pretty?
Me: Nope.
Mandy: No taste.
Me: He belongs on a beach in California with a surf board and a red slushie saying the word "gnarly"
Mandy: What do you mean?
Me: He reminds me of a surfer.
Mandy: Maybe a little?
I dunno. I think he's kinds pretty. I probably wouldn't be trying so hard to get his number if I didn't.
Me: OHHH SO YOU WANT ME TO SET YOU UP WITH AN ADULT MAN ABSOLUTELY NOT
Mandy: THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M SAYING NEITHER OF US EVEN KNOW HIS AGE SO WE DON'T KNOW IF HE'S AN ADULT
ALL I'M SAYING IS HE'S KINDA PRETTY AND I WOULD RATHER SAY HI TO HIM THAN GETTING YOU TO DO IT FOR ME
Me: THEN COME TO THE SHOW
Mandy: I'M NOT SURE I CAN. THAT'S WHY I'M GETTING YOU TO GET HIS NUMBER FOR ME. AND YOU AGREED TO IT, SO NO BACKING DOWN
Me: YOU COULD COME TO THE CASTROOM AFTERWARDS TO HELP ME "CLEAN UP" HE'LL PROBABLY BE DEALING WITH MICS OVER THERE
Mandy: WHAT PART OF "I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN MAKE IT" ARE YOU MISSING??
May 25
Me: Come hither. We're gonna play a little game called Name That Drink.
Mandy: I'd rather play QuizletLive by myself.
Me: It's coffee. The drink is coffee.
Mandy: Mk?
Me: Are you gonna play?
Mandy: Maybe. Don't forget, get me Anthony's number or give mine to him.
Me: That's gonna be super awkward.
"Hey man you don't know me but here is my underage friend's number I swear neither of us has a crush on you,"
Mandy: Don't phrase it like that. Say something along the lines of, "hey. Miranda says hi/Miranda wants your number so I don't have to say hi to you for her because that's super awkward."
Me: Well obviously XD I don't think he remembers Miranda.
Mandy: Then say Duncan XD (that's the dead guy she played months prior)
Me: THAT'S SO WEIRD
Mandy: Also, we don't know his age, there's a solid chance that he isn't an adult yet. I WOULD DO IT FOR YOU.
Me: WELL THIS IS INCREDIBLY WEIRD
IF IT COMES UP IN A NATURAL WAY I MIGHT NOT DIE. THERE'S LIKE AN 85% CHANCE YOU'LL GET HIS NUMBER
Mandy: AND THAT OTHER 15%? I NEED MORE ASSURANCE SO I'M SAVING YOU FROM MORE HI'S FOR ME. YOU SHOULD THANK ME. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS GET PAST YOUR SOCIAL AWKWARDNESS
Me: WELL HOW ABOUT I DONT SAY HI TO HIM AT ALL. I THINK I'M DOING JUST FINE BUT ASKING AN ADULT FOR HIS NUMBER BECAUSE AN UNDERAGED GIRL HAS A CRUSH ON HIM IS OVER THE LINE
Mandy: 1, WE DON'T KNOW IF HE'S AN ADULT 2, I DON'T HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM 3, YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON EVAN, WHO, BY THE WAY, IS A FORKING ADULT. STOP MAKING ASSUMPTIONS LIKE YOU KNOW EVERYTHING.
Me: 1, HE IS PROBABLY AN ADULT 2, THEN WHY ARE YOU TRYING SO HARD TO GET HIS NUMBER 4,BECAUSE EVAN IS PRETTY. THEN STOP TELLING ME TO DO STUFF IF I DON'T WANT TO DO IT
Mandy: 1. YOU. DON'T. KNOW. THAT. HE'S PROBABLY CLOSE, BUT NOT QUITE. 2, BECAUSE I'M TRYING TO MAKE FRIENDS AND UNLIKE YOU, I ENJOY TALKING TO PEOPLE (sometimes). 3, EVAN ISN'T PRETTY AT ALL. YOU MEAN LIKE YOU KEEP DOING TO ME?!
Me: 1, HE'S MORE THAN LIKELY AN ADULT. 2, I'm making friends, just not with Anthony. 3,YOU HAVE SEEN TWO WHOLE PICTURES. REALLY?
Mandy: 1, IF THAT IS SO, THEN HE BARELY IS. PROBABLY 18. 2, GOOD FOR YOU. 3, YES, REALLY. PLUS, THERE'S A GOOD CHANCE THAT AFTER THIS SHOW, YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO SEE EVAN AGAIN. ALSO, I'M ENTITLED TO MY OPINION.
Me: 1, IT'S STILL ILLEGAL. 3, WHY DO YOU THINK I'M TRYING TO GET HIS NUMBER?! I SAW ON THE PLAYBILL THAT IT'S HIS LAST SHOW. THEN I AM TOO
Mandy: 1, I. DON'T. HAVE. A. CRUSH. ON. HIM. I WOULD JUST LIKE TO BE FRIENDS WITH HIM LIKE I'M FRIENDS WITH ANNA (18). I DON'T SEE WHY THAT'S SO HARD FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND. 3, DO WHATEVER. I DON'T CARE ANYMORE. IF YOU'RE GETTING ANTHONY'S NUMBER OR GIVING HIM MINE, HAVE HIM TEXT ME OR SEND ME HIS NUMBER SO I CAN TEXT HIM. I KNOW YOU ARE. EVERYONE IS
Me: I KNOW THAT HE DOESN'T CARE IF HE GETS YOUR NUMBER OR NOT
ANNA WAS A TECHIE, RIGHT?
EVERYONE IS WHAT
Mandy: NO. SHE WAS A CASTMATE.
YOU DON'T KNOW THAT. THERE'S NO WAY ON EARTH THAT YOU KNOW WHAT HE DOES AND DOESN'T CARE ABOUT BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT IN HIS HEAD. EVERYONE IS ENTITLED TO THEIR OPINION FOR GOD SAKE.
Me: WELL HOW THE HECK WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT? I BET SOMEONE IN YOUR CAST HAS HIS NUMBER. WELL GEE I NEVER KNEW THAT THANKS FOR TELLING ME THAT I CANT READ MINDS. WHERE THE HECK DID OPINION COME INTO THIS? IF YOU'RE GONNA USE MY GOD'S NAME THEN DON'T DO IT IN VAIN (she prides herself on being understanding, but doesn't stop saying God even though she doesn't believe in Him)
Mandy: WELL, GEE, MAYBE BECAUSE I TALK ABOUT IT A LOT. I WOULD DO IT FOR YOU, BUT I GUESS THAT AIN'T MUTUAL. THANKS FOR BEING SO HELPFUL AFTER YOU TOLD ME YOU'D DO IT. YOU'RE WELCOME. "I'M ENTITLED TO MY OPINION" I'M NOT CHRISTIAN. HE HAS A NAME, THEREFORE, IT SHOULD BE USED. AND I'M NOT USING IT VAIN, I'M USING IT TO PROVE A POINT.
Me: YOU HAVENT ONCE MENTIONED ANNA TO ME.WELL FORGIVE ME FOR NOT WANTING TO GET SOME STRANGER'S NUMBER AND PUT MYSELF IN AN AWKWARD SITUATION THAT I DON'T NEED TO BE IN. YOU'RE NOT CHRISTIAN, THEREFORE YOU HAVE NO BUSINESS USING HIS NAME.
THERE IS NO POINT TO MAKE IN THE INSTANCE YOU SAID IT IN
Mandy: I HAVE TOO, MAYBE IF YOU ACTUALLY PAID ATTENTION TO ME AND WHAT I SAY, YOU'D KNOW WHO ANNA IS. UNBELIEVABLE. HE'S 21, BY THE WAY. AND THE CASTMATE I ASKED SAYS SHE CAN GIVE ME HIS INSTAGRAM HANDLE THINGY FOR WHEN I'M ALLOWED TO HAVE THE APP. I CAN IF I WANT. IT'S NOT LIKE YOU CAN DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT OTHER THAN YELL AT ME NOT TO USE HIS NAME. BESIDES, LITERALLY EVERYONE ELSE DOES IT AND YOU PICKED ME AS THE ONE PERSON TO GROUSE AT ABOUT IT
Me: YES. IT IS IN FACT UNBELIEVABLE THAT I DON'T REMEMBER EVERY SINGLE WORD YOU'VE SAID TO ME SINCE THAT PLAY. I AM SO THOROUGHLY SHOCKED THAT HE'S AN ADULT. THEN DO IT. THEN I WON'T
I DON'T GIVE A CRAP IF EVERYONE ELSE DOES IT BECAUSE I'VE TOLD YOU THE IMPORTANCE IF HIS NAME. EVERY TIME I HEAR SOMEONE SAY "OH MY GOD" OR "JESUS CHRIST" OR "GO TO HELL" I PRAY FOR FORGIVENESS. You know what, I'm tired of this. You are too, so let's both face that we have VERY different systems of thoughts. We're different people and I'm tired of arguments. We both have enough on our plates, let's chill with the thought of having to be exactly the same.
Mandy: Fine. I would still like you to get his number for me, but I can understand if you're even more uncomfortable with it now. Kendra told me that and I was like, "daaannng. He doesn't look a day over 18." Also, it ain't illegal for me to have a crush on him (I don't, by the way), but it is illegal for him to have a crush on me. I'm kinda done with all the pointless arguments that get us nowhere, as well. Right now, I just need to focus on mom recovering from the car accident Tuesday
Me: The what?!
Mandy: She was in a car accident Tuesday about 3 minutes away from the charter.
Me: How bad on a scale of 1-10?
Mandy: I wasn't there, so I don't know. But it wasn't as bad as I had thought it was.
Me: How bad is SHE on a scale of 1-10?
Mandy: 8 or 9 maybe? I dunno. All I can tell you is that she's sore, stiff, and moving slowly. And none of us are letting her drive XD
YOU ARE READING
Handy Mandy
NouvellesThis is a (probably short) thing of arguments I had with a friend that led to a massive blowup. I'm only writing this so another friend can read it all without me having to send a thousand screenshots.
