The S.H.I.E.L.D. Files

Tap Out

Timeline: Post-A Different Call; canon

Summary: Agent Melinda May struggles to teach rookie Natasha Romanoff how to spar.

Agent May has never sported so many bruises from sparring. The point of sparring is to practice. Two allies training each other to survive on the field; a mutual, unspoken agreement that they won't kill each other. Apparently, Romanoff didn't know that.

Melinda May's body hit the padded mat again. For the thousandth time, she remembered why she traded figure skating and the hard ice for martial arts. May rolled, just missing the fist make impact with the mat where her face had been a moment before. Placing her palms on both side of her head, May threw her weight forward, landing on her feet.

Her opponent whirled to meet her. Strands of red hair fell loose from the quick ponytail, framing her sweaty face and murderous green eyes. Wrapped fists poised in front of her face as she buoyed on the balls of her bare feet.

Blowing a strand of black hair out of the way, May mimicked her ready position as the two circled each other.

"Romanoff, remember to hold back. This is just practice."

Natasha responded with a yell and a swing at her face. May dodged her punch and the following one, then noticed an incoming kick. With Natasha in mid-strike, May moved under Natasha's roundabout and swept the leg, sending the Russian assassin crashing to the mat. Romanoff was fast, but so was May. Before the young recruit could rise, May had her in a headlock with her legs holding Natasha's body down. There was a reason Coulson chose Agent May: few agents had more blackbelts than Natasha Romanoff. Few could keep up with her, let alone beat the ex-KBG agent.

  "Tap out, Rookie."

What May meant as instruction, Romanoff took it as a challenge. She squirmed harder in May's sweat-slick grip. As she began to slip, May squeezed tighter. Natasha gasped as more air was cut from her lungs.

Normally, May would not have been so rough while sparring. It was like Romanoff was trying to kill her. If she didn't know any better... actually, May didn't know better. The recruitment of Natasha Romanoff was a special case. Agent Barton's mission was to kill her, and instead he brings her home for a second chance. Director Fury has yet to determine if she is genuine and not an infiltrator. If she truly wanted to deflect.

May was a level seven agent. Her opinion didn't hold much weight. But if she did have an opinion... there was something about the young woman, and perhaps in the horrors she had heard about the Red Room, that caused Melinda to believe her.

The struggles grew more desperate as Natasha was slowly losing oxygen. A frustrated and panicked sob escaped her lips for her fruitless efforts.

  "Tap out. Natasha," May began in a stern, yet patient tone, "tap out. It will be okay. I'll let you go if you just tap out."

Finally, Natasha heeded her words and patted May's arm. May's hold eased so Romanoff could roll out, gasping as her airways were opened. She lay panting on the mat while May rose stiffly to her feet. Her muscles groaned with the prospect of a sore tomorrow.

After a moment to let her catch her breath, May offered a hand to the younger woman. Romanoff stared at it before accepting. Once the two were both standing, May nodded in approval and started unwrapping her hands.

  "Tapping out is an improvement. One of these days, you'll stop trying to kill whomever you're sparring with."

  "There was no such thing as pretending in the Red Room."

The recruit's quiet voice caught May's attention. She turned to find Natasha still standing in the middle of the mat, hair messy, limbs trembling, and chin lowered. The Russian never shared her past with anyone outside of Clint Barton, Phil Coulson, and Director Fury. With Fury, it was strictly for intel, and emotional reasons with Barton. With Coulson, it was one or the other.

  "When two girls would spar against one another, it was to the death. I didn't just train to become a Widow, I competed against the other girls to graduate. Maybe one in twenty survive to pass. I've killed little girls doing the same thing we were doing. So when I lost..."

"You thought I was going to kill you," May finished.

Natasha nodded. She raised her head, and those eyes once filled with determination to kill were full of fear and unshed tears.

May wiped her hands on her pants. She was no stranger to pep-talks, but tortured Russian assassin, may-be-threat, was out of her element. Unfortunately, Barton was out on mission, the cost for disobeying orders. She stepped closer, and Natasha didn't budge.

  "Listen, Nastasha... S.H.I.E.L.D. is different from them. No one who spars with you is aiming to kill you. It's not to the death, it's not to weed out the weak ones, it's just training. And there's no shame in tapping out. It's no secret you are not yet an agent," at that, Natasha shrugged with a half-smile, "but no one here will kill you unless you give them reason to. And that starts with not fighting to the death while sparring. All right?"

The rookie nodded, her eyes now dry and her muscles relaxed.

  "That will be all for today."

  "Thank you, Agent May." Natasha grabbed her S.H.I.E.L.D. hoodie and pulled it over her sports bra. Melinda May watched her go before hitting the locker room showers. As the hot water soothed her body, May thought long and hard about the rookie.

The next day, May ran into a familiar face, just the person she wanted to see.

  "Agent Hill."

The second-in-command glanced up from the armful of files she had been skimming through as she expertly weaved through traffic around the base. A pleasant smile crossed her usually neutral and authoritative expression.

  "Agent May. What can I do for you?"

  "I was wondering if I had any influence on Fury on the matter known as Natasha Romanoff."

  At the mention of the supposedly former KGB assassin, Maria Hill's face adopted a more serious tone. "As her handler, yes. You do."

  "I think she's genuine. She wants out, and S.H.I.E.L.D. is her way to right her wrongs."

  Hill nodded slowly and May could see her taking mental notes. "Thank you, Agent May. I think Fury will greatly appreciate your assessment." She started to walk away when she paused and glanced back. "Barton returned from his mission this morning. You'll find Romanoff sparring with him."

Agent May smiled to herself, then left to find her rookie.