Am I... The Villian? {~Book One~} {~2021-2022~}

Chapter Twenty Five; {~I feel more relieved, when no one remembers I exist~}

{~01/25/2022~}
{~Unedited~}
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Ever Enough
{~Book; One~}
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Third Person Pov~
It had been another month, one filled with silence and the occasional check in. Thor had visited once with Frigga, though it was an obvious mistake seeing as the younger boy began to panic, begging for Thor to forgive him, telling him he lied even though Thor and Frigga knew all to well that he didn't. Thor didn't know how to respond, his brother was cowering in fear, covering his mouth like he was afraid it would he sewn shut once more.

Loki was afraid that Thor was going to hurt him, afraid that he would yell and shout at him for telling him the truth once more. So here Loki was. Lying, saying that everything he said in the past about a purple giant was untruth. Telling him that he did it with his own free will, that he liked hurting people. Frigga and Thor knew Loki well though, they knew when he was lying, they knew what his tell was.

Loki didn't like taking the lives of others. Loki was forced to kill for a purple giant. Loki was saying that he had used magic to put scars along his neck, face, hands and feet. Loki lied just so his brother wouldn't think he was lying again and hurt him.

Thor tried to apologize but that sent Loki further into panic. He began to rip out his hair, claw away at his covered chest. Went as far as screaming for him to leave. Most of Thor's visit was of him watching his brother mumble countless apologies as the man laid curled up on the floor in the corner of his cell. A cell that Thor had forcefully thrown him into.

Today Thor was visiting once more. He had finally built up enough courage to see his brother once more. Though, he was still afraid. He was afraid to face his brother once again as he played a major part in his brothers state. It was his fault rather he would like to admit it or not.

So seeing his brother, the empty shell of him at least, having been a horrific sight that he caused. Made him regret ever coming back to Asgard in the first place. He feared how his brother would react to his presence. Feared how his state could be much worse then the last time he had visited. He in simple terms, feared his brother. Because he was too stupid to realize his brother needed saving.

"Thor?" A voice called, one laced with this unfamiliar sense of sadness. Turning he had found his mother, standing there with her eyes glazed over. Hand outstretched for her son to take. Thor almost immediately did so, pulling his mother gently by the hand into a much needed hug.

Frigga hasn't been doing her best the past few months. After hearing about her sons state, then seeing it for herself, only to watch his already terrible state worsen the next time she visited, had made her fall into this sense of sadness that everyone around the palace, all of Asgard notice.

She was locked away in her room most of the time, barely eating as much as she use to, barely going around to ask how everyone's days been. Barely doing anything besides laying in her chambers away from everyone and everything. She too, couldn't bring herself to visit her son without Thor as she always needed someone's hand to hold when the time came.

"Yes mother, it's me." Thor called softly, closing his eyes as he held his beloved mother closer. The woman smiled softly, soon pulling away from her son so they could head towards the cell block together. Despite her constant arguments with Odin, he still refuges to let Loki out, having said it was bad enough that he was his so called son already. In simple terms, Odin hasn't spent the night on the same bed as Frigga in a matter of weeks.

  Loki's eyes pressed together as he pulled his knees closer to his chest, listening as the chilled showers fell around him. The cold water falling upon his bare skin left Loki with a small, almost invisible smile. The man began to run his fingers through the tattered strands of his hair. The man sighed aloud as he reached out for the conditioner bottle, having already ran shampoo through his hair.

  "Hold him down." Loki gasped as the men pushed him against the table, forcing him in place as he struggled to get away. He continued to scream out for Thor, for his elder brother. He was the only man who made him feel safe, because he was the only one who had ever listened. He wanted his brother, he wanted these men off of him. Loki tried thrashing around though his body was too sore, to broken from when Thanos had his grasp on him.

  Loki curled up on himself even more, holding his knees to his chest as more tears spilled from his puffy and sore eyes. Loki ran his hands along the his lips, feeling the skin that felt as if it were a pin cousin. It was filled with many small holes, almost like he went over board with a piercing gun. Loki shook as he ran over the first one, his breathing grew heavy and his body shook with fear.

  "Thor!" Loki cried out once more as he watched a man thread a piece of string through a needle, it was gold, and it was shimmering. Without much more time having been wasted, a man dressed in an Asgardian warrior wear had stepped in. Without much consideration the guard grabbed the top and bottom of Loki's head, forcing his mouth shut. The God tried to scream though failed to.

  Loki allowed his lips to part, aloud them to spread as the chilled waters ran down his face, dripping into his mouth. Loki took numerous heavy breaths, trying to catch a breath that seemed so far out of reach. Trying to calm himself despite not knowing how to. It was Thor who had always calmed him, he hadn't the faintest of clues on how to do said thing to himself. So without much thought, Loki began dragging his nails along his skin, pushing them deep to where ever the soldiers had touched him. Trying to rid himself of the heavy pressure they had applied to him.

  "Hold him down." Thor?

  Loki stared up at his brother, eyes wide with fear as the man advanced towards him, taking the golden thread from one of the guards. Loki stared with wide eyes as his brother came closer and closer. He kept the pin close to his chest, his eyes cold and unbarring. Loki tried looking away though couldn't, his head was locked in place. He watched as his brother hovered over him. Watched as he leaned in close.

  "Stop, stop. Make it go away..." Loki had cried out, grabbing his hair as he shook his head roughly. Trying to rid of the awful thoughts. The scratching did nothing more then rip open some old scars. Scars that were all over his body. Loki's breathing grew heavier as he felt the sharp pain, remembered the awful words that his brother had said.

  "Stop Loki." The demanding voice off his brother had called out. Eyes wide with annoyance as he took a step forwards. Without warning he pushed the needle through Loki's lower lip, earning a harsh and loud scream. One that was filled with pain and suffering. Thor only ignored it as he spoke up. "This is your own fault, this is for all those lies. All those stunts you pulled. You see this, this is unbreakable string. It's punishment for making up lies for what is currently happening to you. This is your fault, your own doing. I am sick of you putting the blame on everyone else besides yourself."

  This was my own fault. I deserved what Thanos had done. I dug myself into this grave. I don't deserve retribution. I don't deserve sanctuary. I don't deserve feeling safe, feeling loved. I don't deserve anything. I never did.

  Loki's body shuffled forwards as he tried to stand. He collapsed against the cool wall. Hand slithering down to turn off the tap. Loki let out a soft sigh. Stepping out of the washroom, he ignored the mirror laid out before him. The one that was shattered across the floor. Ignoring the fact that the shards were cutting into the bottom of his feet, he continued towards the counter. Grabbing the baggy pants as well as the sleeveless shirt the guards had given him.

  Once dressed Loki left the washroom, holding his arms out as he readied the guards to take him back to his cell. To his surprise he wasn't met with rough hands. Instead warm ones clasped themselves around Loki's, drawing his attention towards who ever grabbed him. Thor?