A Touch of Torment

Chapter 8: bloody nightmare

"You seriously didn't feel anything?" James asks, his body visibly tense.

I've got two options here;

1.Tell him the truth about how much attraction I feel towards him and look vulnerable along the way.

2. Stay strong and lie to him, while maintaining my emotionless image I've build for myself.

I can't lose Sirius, even though he shows no obvious interest in me. But I also can't lose James over a chance with Sirius. What have I done? This cannot be happening right now.

"Answer me.. please." He says through gritted teeth. His anger intensifying by the second.

"What do you want me to say? Huh?" I respond, while placing my head in the palm of my hands. "Do you want me to say that- that- you've been trying to get with my cousin since forever and you just fucking did that with me!"

"You kissed me!" He argues, pointing his finger at me.

"Muffliato." I cast the spell under my breath, in order not to be caught out of bed after curfew. "No no, you kissed me first!" I shout.

"You made me do it! You got me all riled up."
"I did not!" I scoff and he rolls his eyes.
"Oh yeah, definitely." he says sarcastically.

"You're a child!" I hiss.

"They would kill us if they found out." He stresses, running his hands through his curls frustratedly.

"Yeah and who exactly are you referring to?" I ask, while crossing my arms over my chest sassily.

"You know exactly who I'm talking about!" He snaps, his face scrunching slightly.

"Oh! For sure! You must be talking about Dorothy and the wizard of oz, god damn." I say sarcastically, in a pitchy tone.

"Don't be a fucking smart arse!" He yells, his expression full of disdain and furry.

"Don't be a fucking dick!" I respond with furrowed brows, while looking him up and down.

"You're so manipulative! Lily, that's who I'm talking about! Unless it's Sirius too, then we're really screwed!" The words escape his mouth like venomous poison, and I stammer back a few feet. His words stung me more than anyone could know. "Are you going to go kiss every boy at Hogwarts just because they gave you a bit of attention?"

"Shut the fuck up!" I scream. "I didn't fucking manipulate you into kissing me! And if that's what your really think- then maybe you should go take some time to think about how incredibly idiotic you're being right now! And stop bringing up Sirius, he doesn't give a shit about me.." I mumble the last part. James opens his mouth to speak but I shush him "I'm not finished. You're hot but you're being a dick, I would like you to know that. Also don't go around seducing the fucked up cousin of the girl you've been trying to get with since first year, then try to say it was her fault for 'manipulating you' just because I didn't kneel at your feet and beg you to fuck me." A single pain filled sarcastic laugh slips from my lips as I'm looking at the ground and I poke my tongue at the inside of my mouth, then look back up to him.
"I honestly thought you were better than this, and I worshiped you and your little group of friends" I sign, then flip my hair and turn my back to him in a huff and start to walk away, but I stop at the door and turn back towards a dumbfounded James Potter. "My middle finger salutes you." I then sarcastically salute him with my middle finger and walk out the door without another word.