Venting Book

24 July 2021 - 7:19 pm

Fuck
Fuck
Fuck
Fuck
FUCK.

just when i think things are starting to look up, when i start to maybe be happy, then i fuck up again. when am i going to stop doing this?!

maybe i should cut everyone off. then i can stop being such a fuck up.

nobody would notice. it's not like they actually like me anyways.

i'm losing the only one whose love for me is unconditional.

i hate this life.

i want to feel something that isn't negative. for once. why is that so much to ask?!

the universe doesn't give a shit, why would it? why would anybody think to care about me?

maybe cutting everyone off is a good idea. i'd stop lying to myself, i'm sure. why would anybody want to be around me? there's so many things wrong with me.

i'm big. i'm a goddamn cow.

my parents are way bigger than i am and they make comments.

"you're as big as a house"

"you should go on a starvation diet"

"you can't wear that, it's not for you."

i hate my body. i hate my personality. i hate everything about myself.

there is nothing about me that is lovable.

the sooner i realize this, the better.