Jason Todd oneshots

What if?

This oneshot will be what if batman and Robin (Tim) found Talia just before Talia and Jason did "it" ( I think this was in Lost Days but I'm not too sure)

This will be crack fic, also Jason doesn't know that joker is still alive.

- - - - - - - -

Batman POV:

Bruce Wayne was walking in his bat-cave, his black cloak billowing, thinking about why Talia was suddenly moving. What was she planning?

"I have found the location of Talia Al Ghul, Bruce. Sending the location now. It's only her and one other person, presumably a league member." Oracle's computerized voice appeared in the bat-computer.

Bruce stiffened,took a deep breath and said "Thank you Oracle" There was a soft ping of a new email being received. Bruce opened it, examined the location.

Bruce grabbed his cowl, put it on and called for Tim to get ready.

Time skip

"I've got eyes on Talia.. Robin do you have eyes on the other person?"

Talia was reading a book... pride and prejudice....?

Bruce and oracle couldn't find anything on the person Talia was with. It seemed he was just another league member.

"Yeah" Robins voice replied over the comms.

"Okay, 3.... 2.. 1!"

Batman crashed through the window, Talia didn't even jump, instead she sighed and said "while I appreciate your excitement about me reading the book you recommend me, you shouldn't be making so much noise"

Talia turned around and faltered for a second, it was a spilt second but Batman still saw it.

"Oh"

"Hello beloved."

"Talia" He replied. "I am going to have to arrest you and bring you to justice"

"We all now that won't happen, Beloved."

Batman would have replied, if Robins hadn't interrupted him over the comms

"Batman! This guy.. is. CRAZY!"
Robin is out of breath. "he's not a regular league member"

Batman stared hard at Talia while replying to Robin.
"Robin! Report, where are you? Do you need help"

Talia sighed and bookmarked her book, set it on the dresser.
"Why did you have to bring the new boy wonder, beloved?"

"What do you mean, Talia? Does Robin mean something to them?"
B

atman heard more fighting over the comms and feet running.

A loud bang interrupted their conversation. Robin had kicked open the door, inhaling deeply.

"He. Threw. A. Chair. At. Me."

"Are you okay, Robin?"

"He threw a chair at me, and then. . . complained about me wearing. . . pants?And then took my weapons!" The utter confusion and shock on Tim's face was very clear.

If that wasn't surprising enough, Talia made a "tired mom noise"

Both robin and batman stared at Talia, questioning if that really happened.

"I HAD TO SUFFER FOR THREE WHOLE YEARS WEARING GREEN FUCKING UNDERWEAR BUT YOU? YOU GET PANTS???"
A voice blundered throughout the house,batman couldn't tell where it was coming from, the voice was familiar..it couldn't be..

It had to be a clone.

"Just be glad I haven't told him about joker yet" Talia informed them.

"That was.. really vague" Robin replied.

Suddenly, the roof crashed and batman was crumpled on the floor, a human sized mass on top of him.

Robin was in a fighting pose and Talia was back reading pride and prejudice,muttering something along the lines of "the things I go through..."

"Once I find Bruce. I will kill him for getting another kid to sacrifice to all the fucked up people in this world." The young man wearing some sort of a zombie shirt angrily muttered under his breath.

"Jason." Talia said, flicking a page in her book.Robins eyes widened as he realized who this was."look under you"

"Tals, what do you.."
The second boy wonder, Jason Todd looked under him.

"Oh"

"Oh shit"

A/N
I don't think this really counts as a crack fic, but I just wanted to make something chaotic

Make sure to drink water and go to the bathroom

*Disappears for another few weeks*