Open Mind For A Different View

Chapter 1: So Close, No Matter How Far

A.N. Title (and chapter title) comes from the song "Nothing Else Matters" by Metallica.

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"Aaaghh!" Caitlin groaned out, her arm sweeping her work off her desk and onto the floor. Pens, paper, notebooks, medical scans, and books clattered to the ground and scattered the room. Elbows banged against the wood, her hands covering her face.

"Geez, snow's a little yellow this afternoon, huh?"

She lifted her hands, scrunching her face at the sight of Ralph and Cisco smirking at her from the doorway where they walked in. "Guys, what do you want?"

"Whoa, hey." Cisco chuckled. "No need for the blizzard. We just wanted to see if you were ready to come with us to check out the Gridlock crime scene but if you're busy . . ."

"Yeah, what are you working on?" Ralph picked up some of the papers, setting them back on her desk.

"It's nothing," She dismissed. "Just a project I'm trying to figure out. I was on my way out the door to meet you guys and I just got caught up I guess."

"Aah, the one you and Harry were working on?" Cisco raised an eyebrow, and she knew he knew exactly what she was searching for.

"Yeah . . ." She chewed on her bottom lip. "After he left to go back to Jesse, I found a note in my office from him. It said that he knew he didn't have the knowledge to help me anymore, but he still believed that someday I'd figure it out."

"That's actually really sweet. Who knew the old jerk had it in him." Cisco looked down at the mess still on the floor. "Not going well, I take it?"

"It's not at all." Caitlin grimaced. "I've really hit a dead end."

"Whatever it is, Harry's right. You'll figure it out." Ralph nodded.

"You will." Cisco agreed. "In the meantime, how about a different meta mystery? Take your mind off it for a while?"

She let out a deep breath, glancing at her research again and then up at her friends. "Yeah, let's go." She stood up, following the boys out of her office.

"You okay, there, buddy?" Cisco eyed her suspiciously.

"Cisco, I'm fine." She sighed again.

"Just making sure. 'Cuz for a minute there I thought maybe Harry was back. Or maybe the two of you just spent too much time together before he left." Cisco said. She just stared at him. "Hey, I'm just sayin', is all. It's not usually like you to push things around and make a mess like that. Especially in your precious office space."

"I was angry, frustrated." She glared at him. "You know this isn't easy for me."

"I get it, I do. I'm just pointing it out." Cisco shrugged. "Okay, let's go check this crime scene out."

Later that night, Caitlin dreamt of Harry. Of the past, his past. She saw him with his wife, watched them build Star Labs together, and when Jesse was born. Then a broken Harry in the cemetery with an infant in his arms and the haunted look in his eyes she knew so well. Jesse's childhood flashed before her eyes through his, including the moment Harry realized that Zoom had Jesse up until he'd left Earth 1 the last time after they defeated DeVoe to go be with her again.

And what's more, she saw every moment she herself spent with him too, from seeing him for the first time and thinking he was Thawne to the final goodbye hug that had seemed so out of character for him, though it had felt so good to have his arms around her - even with everyone else there too. To watching him leave, off to spend the rest of his newly balanced life with his daughter.