Sanscest Oneshots

Afterdeath N.2

Wait

The vision of my hands blurred in and out of focus when I looked down at them, in my dream an earlier memory of mine was replaying again like it had all week. I hadn't gotten any actual sleep. Before I knew it I was back in bed under the soft plain, but warm, blanket staring at the pixelated ceiling.

Midnight. The clock read, precisely 1:54 AM. The bedroom was silent except for the soft static noise hovering around. My head drummed with pain, probably from stress and the lack of sleep.

It had been harder to keep track of my thoughts because of the lack of sleep. I would constantly rethink ways I could have prevented what happened. To my left the bed is empty and untouched. I get up sitting on the edge sighing then getting enough energy to stand up shakily. I begin to see stars and feel rather dizzy after standing up too quickly so I sit right back down holding my head in my hands.

"I wonder what I look like..."

I let my mind wander before trying again. This time using the wall to guide myself towards the entrance of the bedroom.

Down the quiet and decently illuminated hallway I shuffled my way towards the living room where I quickly spotted a figure curled up under a blanket facing away from me and sleeping peacefully. The pale moonlight reflected across their features which made them look like an angel whose slightest touch could make anything burst to life. Ironically, he was indeed the opposite.

"Is there enough space for me?"

After hesitating to join him for a while I ultimately couldn't resist the freezing cold ground. Quickly I shuffled under the covers laying behind him, trying as best as I could to warm myself back up. I didn't want to wake him but despite my effort he stirred. He turns to me with empty eye sockets only barely awake and slightly surprised to see me here this late. "...Can't sleep?"

I was silent, before nodding. "I'm sorry for waking you", I murmured as I let go of him which I hadn't noticed I'd done. I held onto myself for comfort now feeling guilty. The two of us just barely fit under the singular blanket he had on the red couch. The silence was awkward after what happened earlier this week, it almost brought more tears to my eyes just thinking about it.

The house continued in silence. I could only hear the sound of his soul against his rib-cage, the occasional stir of a random animal outside and the hum of the small heater we owned beeping on indicating the room would slowly start to heat up again. Suddenly the two of us spoke at once.

Ironic how we both wanted to speak our minds. He sighed in defeat, "Go ahead.." It didn't seem fair that I had interrupted yet again and got the first word out.

I didn't mean to interrupt him.

"I know what I said earlier, I never thought it would be this hard on my own. I wanted to be strong for the two of us.. I thought I could do it bu-" It took me a while to recount my thoughts feeling overwhelmed by the situation, I covered my eyes with my hands not willing to cry again, "..but, can you just come back to bed with me? I haven't been able to sleep..."

"Since I had lost them. "

Obviously I wouldn't admit it, I wouldn't say those words again. It had torn us apart once and I was scared it would happen again.

"Since we lost them"

I looked up surprised that he had gotten the courage to finish what I couldn't. I wanted to cry like I had when I had first come to terms with the idea of what happened.

We had lost a beautiful pair of twin boys that would've added to our family, and we couldn't do anything to get them back. What's worse is just how terrible it felt to be useless. Reaper had got home that day excited to greet me and our two boys till he found me huddled on the ground refusing to be touched or even talked to. I just couldn't have anyone near me at the time. I was so empty, feeling guilty for everything that was going on. Remembering back on it I couldn't get a single word out, I could only cry. I only remembered saying that I needed the space which Reaper didn't question, but I worried if I had torn a hole between us after pushing him away. It was never his fault. I don't think either of us could have seen it coming but, I was so afraid he would blame me for what happened.

It scared me to think just how long it would take for the both of us to come to terms with "it". He didn't deserve the way I treated him when all he tried to do was comfort me.

I let myself go. I sobbed just above a whisper while hiding my face into his chest, eventually my eyes grew tired and puffy. I hated myself for it since I could only cry, and crying didn't fix anything. He reached his hands out, wrapping his arms gently around and holding me close, he shushed my sorry sniffles telling me that it would be okay. Tenderly, his soft hands rubbed my back. "God..." I thought, "I didn't realize I missed this- how much I missed him." Reaper thought the same, it was difficult to even hold onto Geno without squeezing him too tightly. The news had taken a toll on him as well.

-

Reaper guessed what happened once he had gotten Geno to calm down that same day, he couldn't believe it when he told him. No wonder Geno was hysterical. Upon hearing the news all they did that day was sit on the couch together in silence, well at least Reaper did. Geno was huddled up crying for hours on end clutching a blanket close to his stomach. Reaper couldn't even reach out to calm him down because it would only cause the situation to worsen, instead he sat quietly, waiting. He would cry here and there but he never as much as Geno because he felt he had to be strong. That was the lie he was telling himself however, because in reality he hadn't fully accepted it yet.

That first night was rough.

Geno headed to bed crashing as soon as he hit the pillows. Reaper still sat on the couch looking at the now empty spot with guilt. Was this his fault? How come Geno hated him now? he thought.

He clawed at his face refusing to sob his heart out, he just couldn't. There had to be something he could do. Unfortunately for him, Reaper knew it very well-

The only thing you can't fix is death.

In an attempt to keep himself together he walked over to the little nursery they had prepared for the twins, he remembered all the careful preparations he and Geno made for them as he walked through the doorway. He couldn't even look at the beautifully decorated room and cribs which had stuffed animals and cute matching baby outfits without feeling sad about the predicament he was in. He walked over to a small couch chair sitting down and attempting to clear his thoughts. Under him there was a squeak which he reached his hand at wondering what he had sat on. He pulled out a purple cat with a party hat causing him to sigh, it was intended for the twins.

Reaper spent the first night like that, alone in the lavender scent of the room and a small purple cat waiting for sleep to pull at his eyes. Eventually it did but when he woke the next morning Geno wasn't out in the living room nor sipping his usual coffee in the morning but unfortunately that was just the start because Geno planned to coop himself up for the rest of the week.

However now that they found themselves together sharing a couch and a warm embrace they had no words. Neither of them had a thought behind their eyes. They were living this soft, quiet moment while they could in peace. It's as if they had set aside their worries for even just a couple of minutes to just breathe and be there for one another. They acknowledged how they felt just by taking in each other's actions. They both knew they would get through it slowly but for now all they would do was hang onto each other.

~

STY 1