Venus and Rose

Chapter Ten: Regiments

Joining the army had seemed like an easy decision. You had to protect your sister; she was all that mattered. Except after all these years as a cadet, she wasn't the only one you cared for anymore. After you escaped Trost alive and saw what the titans were really like, you vowed to protect your friends. Except you had failed. You were a failure. Firstly, you allowed two of the cadets on your squad to die gruesomely; although you hadn't known them well, they were still your responsibility. You allowed them to die and you let Marco die.

Marco was dead and you still couldn't believe it. He was fighting the titans, and where had you been? Lying in the medic tent while a nurse stitched the cuts on your hands. You might have saved him if you had been there.

During the nights you barely slept due to the constant cries and groans of the injured. Three days after first arriving at the medic site, Stephen was moved to the bed across from yours. You simply nodded to him when he had waved with a heavily bandaged hand.

Guilt was driving you mad and grief was making you feel increasingly hollow. You had barely reacted when Sasha told you the news. You hadn't cried, you didn't say anything. But inside, you were screaming. Sasha tried consoling you, but she was soon shooed away by a nurse and you were alone again. In the evening, Sasha returned to collect you so you could join the rest of your cadet troop as they mourned the fallen.

Still silent, you watched the fires burn and couldn't help but stare at the bone fragments littering the ground. Connie was the first to break down that night; kneeling before the fire and sobbing. A part of you wanted to comfort him, the other part to join him in his cries. But you stayed still with your head lowered and tears dripping from your cheeks. When you did look up occasionally, you would catch Reiner and Jean glancing at you. I must be a pathetic sight, you thought understandably. Sasha pulled you to her side and you huddled against her.

"Hey guys," Jean spoke up. Looking up, you met his determined yet scared gaze. "Have you decided which regiment you're going to join?" Jean's hands trembled slightly. "I have. I'm...I'm...going to join the Scouts!" He broke down into sobs, yet you only watched him in your numb silence.

The next morning, while you were curled under the covers, Stephen came and sat beside you on the bed. He seemed to understand that you couldn't talk, so he kept up a constant chatter for several hours. His exuberant stories of his childhood and his home reminded you of how Connie and Marco always talked, and prevented you from dwelling on your loss. After a full day this, you started to feel some emotion again, and by the next day you had started to show emotion. After another two days, you put your sorrow behind strong walls and were able to converse almost normally again.

The medics informed you and Stephen that you both could leave once the stitches were removed. The numbness was slowly receding in your fingers, and your doctor was happy with your progress. However, Stephen still couldn't move several fingers because his nerve damage had been far more affected than yours. When it was time for the stitches to be removed, your doctor gave you a long information sheet of how to take care of the wounds while they were still healing and informed you to refrain from training for at least another week.

However, when you returned to Stephen, he told you the bad news. "The doctors don't think I'll regain proper sensation or mobility of my hands again," he said as he tried to clench a fist, but only his index finger and thumb moved. "One of the military officials visited while you were gone. He gave me a medical discharge." Stephen gave you a small smile, but it couldn't distract you from the pain in his eyes.

Sitting on his bed, you returned the smile. "Well, now you can go home. You would never shut up about that girl back home, perhaps you can ask her out when you finally get the nerve."