Always Atlas

21 ➵ Opals Grave

ALWAYS 

ATLAS

I couldn't help but stare down at the withered brown flowers that lay before me as the old oak trees swayed in the wind, ruffling their leaves and causing some to break free and fall around me.

The tree looked exactly like the one we have once sat under, watching greedy little squirrels chasing each other around the floor and down the tree for the little acorns the others had first.

The oak tree was in the middle of a massive field not too far from home, she would drive us there all the time where she would cuddle into me and away from the harsh wind. 

We loved it there and I would give anything in the world to go back there... with her. 

Her gravestone stood still in the blowing wind; I was nervous the wind would blow it away due to how harsh it was being right now. 

Opal's gravestone was a grey marble and polished so that it shined brightly. In some places it sparkled white with tinges of blue, pink and orange like the Opal gemstones, she would think that's it so cringe that they did that to her grave but I think it's quite sweet.

Her picture was also stuck on there, her beautiful face was frozen in time, it was oval-shaped on the gravestone. They chose a really good photo of her, she would hate it, saying her hair looks messy and her face is red and splotchy, no makeup being able to cover it as she was bare-faced.

But to me and everyone else, we knew she was beautiful no matter what. 

I picked up the old ugly flowers that sat before her gravestone, they were or used to be white roses, they signified purity, the exact opposite of Opal. Her parents had told everyone to put white roses for their pure little baby girl.

But Opal was anything but pure.

Deep down she was a really good person, she loved her parents, she loved talking to all of the old ladies at church and she loved brightening the smiles of old men in the street. Other than those few things and maybe more, Opal really loved to party, that being drinking and doing drugs with random strangers.

Her parents wouldn't believe me even if I tried telling them a few of the fun adventures we have been on, ones that were full of danger and would have been able to get us into heaps of trouble if our parents found out. 

Even worse if the police had been able to catch us.

Removing the old flowers, I placed down the pretty wildflowers that I had picked on my way here, from a meadow that we used to run through, whether we were running from the police and hiding in the long grass or we were simply exploring.

These were her favourite flowers, she loved how they were wild and free from stupid expectations and were able to grow without being changed by others. She also loved how they were also light pastel almost colours, the purple, blue and white ones were the ones she loved the most.

God Opal, I used to tell myself that my heartbeat for you. I was so convinced that my soul would die if you had ever left like I didn't survive long before you even showed up. I used to believe that every breath that I took was because you were right there beside me, that may be true but I want you to know that even when I am all alone I breathe just fine...

Even without you.

I am still mourning all the parts of me that I neglected while trying to make you love me. Rummaging through all of the scraps, just trying to make myself at least half full, again. Although I might spend most of my time trying to heal from you, at least now you can never get close enough to break me, like you used too.